Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A look back on 2008

Gosh, so much has happened this year, I can't even begin to describe how I feel about it. But I'll give it a shot. To start, here's a brief look back on events in my life over the past year.

2008 started with a much needed night out with a friend. The first few months of 2008, were shaky, at best. I was going through a lot with friends, as well as work issues. I can't say that I made the best decisions in things I did, but at the time, I did what I thought needed to be done. I ended two friendships, one in February, one in March. The first may never be reconciled, as it was a permanent wound . The other, I'm slowly coming full circle again with. I'm hoping that forgiveness is making its way around as well, and we can continue to work on trust issues.

In May, the 12th to be exact, my friend Beth and I started on a weight loss journey. I don't think either of us expected it to go as far as it did, to totally flip our lives upside down. I'm not sure of what her exact numbers are, but together we've lost over 150 lbs. As of today I'm sitting at 78 lbs lost. Its been quite a roller coaster. We've had to deal with emotions coming up that we did not realize were hiding. We've both kicked each other's figurative bootys. We've struggled lots, but we've prevailed. And we enter this new year, with Beth within her range, and me slightly over half way to my goal.

I've had to take my child to the ER twice (once for a fever of 106, and once for stitches when he sliced his ankle on the bottom of our screen door). I rearranged my thinking on ADHD meds for kids, and my 4 year old is now on Strattera. And I must say, I'm happy with my decision, I think I did the best thing I could for him. He's doing really great on it at school, and he's thriving in PPCD. He loves it and is growing by leaps and bounds. Two steps forward, one step back, and ever moving forward. I'm so proud of my sweet boy!!!

Lets see what else. There have been some family members pass away this year, a great uncle, a 2nd cousin, another distant cousin. So its been a sad year for the Ragsdale clan, but we've had a birth - my cousin and his wife had a new baby in October. We got to see a black man get elected to become President this year, and even though I don't agree with his stance on things, you gotta admit, it's a good thing to break the color barrier in our presidential history. It leaves the door wide open for so much more to come. Now a black conservative president would freakin rock!

Its been a long year, lots has happened, but for me, it was a year of growing and becoming more secure in myself. So I guess, despite the trials, its been a good year. I've made lots of new friends, met new goals, and I'm looking forward to seeing what 2009 brings, and can't wait!

I pray that all of you have a blessed New Year, are able to reconcile 2008, and move onward with a fresh new look.

God bless.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

So excited...

I LOVE roadtrips. The open road, music jammin, window down (weather permitting of course), and nothing but headlights for miles. I get such a thrill! And yay, tomorrow, D and I are taking one!!! We will be leaving as soon as I get off work, hopefully around noon.

We're headed to Oklahoma City first to see my dad and his wife. On Friday, we're headed to Missouri to see one of my besttttest friends and her family. And we'll be headed home on Sunday. Its a 7 hour drive from here, and one we've made before.

I have to say, I'm so glad I have a child who loves it just as much as I do. He does great in the car, with the music, he always says "can you turn it up please???" (is that my kid or what???!!!), and tends to sleep through quite a bit of it. Its always a bit stressful on us at someone else's house, since D has to explore everything (ie. get INTO everything), and sometimes his tummy shows his internal stress of the routine change, but otherwise we typically have a good time.

I did take Monday off work, so that I can recuperate (and scheduled a doc apt for that day too, and maybe a movie). D will still go to daycare on Monday but since PPCD won't be back in session til Tuesday, he'll have an opportunity for a nap.

Wish us luck and say some prayers for safe travel!!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

A new holiday/trip survival initiative

I went into this holiday season gung-ho about losing weight and staying fully on track. Yeah, that got derailed with a month long plateau, plus an emotional week, and a few leg injuries. However, I HAVE stayed on the cardio every day for the challenge I started on DAM. It might not have always been awesome fall out on the floor cardio, but it gets my heart rate up and going.

I'm preparing to head off on a roadtrip from NYE until the 4th of January, and I could tell I was getting stressed over it way too much. So right now I'm determining that as long as I stick to my cal counts, I'm not going to worry about the quality of the food I eat. I will be keeping my portions moderate and trying to stick with my "safe" foods, and I think that should get me through the end of this holiday season intact.

Come January 6th I will be beginning the Year Without challenge, and I'm excited about that. Its going to really help me get eating out under control, and buying clothes for D...yikes...

Don't forget, too, to start checking here everyday to see what I'm eating, what activity I'm doing, and Saturdays are weigh-in days, so check back every Sunday for THOSE updates!!!

Friday, December 26, 2008

The day after...

*groan* I know I'm enjoying my Wii...I was up til 3am on it...lol But it was a blast, I'm excited to have it to enhance my workouts, with the Wii Fit and Fitness Ultimatum. Tonite, D and I played on Wii Sports: golf, bowling, boxing. I am not letting him play yet as his impulse control is not the greatest, but he had an awesome time beside me playing along with what I was doing. Hahaha, as I was boxing, when I knocked out my opponent, he was hollering "GO GIRL GO GIRL GO!!!" He's so cute. We had a grand time!

I was so glad to get today off work, we mainly laid around all day until dinner this evening, and playing on the Wii. But we watched Kung Fu Panda (his new movie) and I got a lot of his minitrampoline put together (dang laces, takes TWO people to put it together!!!), and even though he was overtired so had some super cranky moments, I still count it a nice day.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas with your families, and are making sure to remember the real meaning of Christmas. Not the gifts, not Santa, not spending money. Its all about Jesus. He's the reason we have the lives we do. I know its hard to not get caught up in the season, but its always good to take some time to reflect on his birth and its meaning for us.

Please check out D and I's blog for pictures of our Christmas!

Monday, December 22, 2008

New things a comin...

I made the decision to bring my part of our Losin Together blog over here to the Daily Bdizzle. I've felt kinda confined over there. Beth is lookin all hot and stuff, and right near her goal, and I've still got so much weight to go, so I think I need to branch out on my own.

So starting January 1st, I'll be posting all my food intake and output here, along with all the usual posting that noone ever reads...lol I'll move my stats over as well, and the pics too. And by the way, I'm sorry we never did a fence pic for our 6 month anniversary on it. I'll try to keep up with solo ones, though.

You'll still get all the good updates, all the highs and lows, and get to continue seeing this quest of mine.

So stay tuned...2009 is gonna be off the chain!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

A rough weekend eating-wise

Or at least THINKIN about eating. Last week was all emotional eating for me, but I'm determined to not let it be the end of things. I wallowed in feeling sorry for myself a lot this weekend, but its over. And tomorrow I'll be back on the grind. I still have not missed a day of cardio, just food choices have not been happy.

I heard a quote today: "There's no sin in gettin weary, the sin is in giving up." And its true. I'm not giving up on this, I've come too far. So please ignore the last few days of my posts on our Losin blog. I'm glad I posted them, especially Fridays. I really had to work hard at not wanting to be ashamed of all that popcorn and candy, and wanting to hide it. But its out there.

Now if I can make it through these next two weeks, I'll be in good shape. Tuesday, my work is catering in Mexican food. I found out that Christmas Eve is going to be quite a bit of Mexican food. Christmas morning is going to be sausage casserole at my aunts. OMG I need some prayers!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Congrats Amanda!

I just wanted to say CONGRATS to my friend Amanda and her DH on the birth of their beautiful baby girl!!!

I went to go visit her today and she is SUCH a doll! Just absolutely beautiful, but of course, she's gonna be! lol

And big sis is so proud!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Truck Fail

About 4 years ago, we were all at work, and suddenly heard a CRASH from out back. And our power went out. So we all go out there to look, and a semitruck across the little canal out back of my office had hit the wires connected to the building across from us, and not only ripped them out of the building, but basically broke the power pole in half so the whole top half of it was on the ground!!!

2004 - See the guy standing there looking at it...you can so tell thats an "Oh SNAP!" face.


Well...this past week...we heard another CRASH. And the power went out. My first thought was...another semi hit the wires! And sure enough...yup...

2008


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Angelina Laurejandra Ramirez




A Mom in my local Moms Group lost her child last week. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Angelina was almost 16 months old. Her life ended when a TV fell on top of her. They were able to save her organs and donate them. A 10 month old baby received her heart and a 7 year old boy received her liver. And another recipient received both of her kidneys. A miracle has been able to happen out of this tragedy.

Angelina is survived by her parents, Jessie and Miguel and two siblings, Yesenia (5) and Elena (4). I can not even begin to imagine what they are going through right now.

Please say a little extra prayer for Elena, the 4 year old sibling. The accident happened on her 4th birthday. Angelina was rushed to the hospital and survived till the 10th. It was on that day that they feel they lost her, but the hospital kept her "alive" till the 12th so they could use her organs.

Angelina Laurejandra Ramirez
September 19, 2007 - December 12, 2008

http://www.memorialobituaries.com/memorials/obits_display.cgi?action=viewobit&memid=195644

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Biggest Loser Finale Tonite!

I watched this tonite and just wanted to say CONGRATS to Michelle!!! She was my favorite going into the night and I'm SO GLAD she won it! (And apparently she's a local Dallas girl!!!) She did a great job, and looks absolutely amazing!!

She made a comment that stuck with me though. "Surrender to the process", its what got her through these past months at home. Think on that. I know I am, I'll post a blog later on what I get from it, need to ponder on it more.

If D knew how to cuss...

and I'm very fortunate that he does not yet, but he SO would have this morning, when he got his first taste of ice. I sent him out to the car this morning, not realizing that our patio was iced over. Two seconds later, D went bottom first on to the ground. Does it make me a bad mom that I cracked up laughing? The expression on his face was just PRICELESS! It was truly a "WTF!" moment. And the po baby could not get up by himself either. OMG, po thing. lol The next ten minutes, alllll the way to school, he kept exclaiming to himself, "I slipped! I slipped!" He just couldn't get past it.

In other news...I'm even more injured now. :( My thigh (pulled muscle) has been doing "ok" but it has its moments. It was fine at walmart last night and my workout, but a bit later, I was just walking back from the bathroom, it spasmed and made my knee go weak and give out...I went knee first into the tile. So now my knee is all nice and bruised. Its actually kinda purty. Blech. IT hurts like heck but I'm very well drugged up on ibuprofen right now so its feeling somewhat better. Prayers for swift healing are always greatly appreciated!

Monday, December 15, 2008

PSA of the day

If you have the opportunity to get gas on a day when the high is in the upper 60s, low 70s, please do it. Otherwise, you might find yourself shivering at 7am getting gas when the temp dropped suddenly overnight, its almost freezing, and while the E light hasn't come on yet, its close, and you have a 16 mile commute to work. And the windchill makes it even worse. True story. I'm still thawing out and berated myself the whole way through it.

On a good note though, it so totally rocks to fill up from almost Empty with only $20. I love it!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Bout dang time!

Today is official weigh-in day for the week, and I'm very pleased to announce that:

I'm off that crappy plateau!!! I weighed in at 252.2 this morning, which is the lowest its been since November 12th when I hit 254.4 and then it went back up to 257.8. Its been such a frustrating month, but I'm glad that I've found more resources to take control of my body and get the rest of this weight off!

So...just had to share. I might actually hit below 250 before Christmas! I so didn't want to start off the new year over 250...so this is progress!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A yummy splurge day!

Ok I was very hesitant to have a splurge, since I think I'm JUST now coming off this plateau. But I did it anyway. However I got in two workouts today. So I'm happy with that. I guess.

However, my leg WAS doing better, and it at least allowed me to DO the two workouts, but the rest of the afternoon kinda sucked on that. Everytime I step wrong, a spasm goes through my upper thigh. It hurts like a mother when that happens!!!

Hopefully it will heal fast. I'm going to forego a walking workout tomorrow, in favor of swimming tomorrow evening, so maybe that will help to rest it.

In other news, today is my 8 year Work Anniversary! Go me! I can't believe I've been at my job since I was 21, I've spent the majority of my adult life here. Its definitely flown by, I've owned a house, adopted a child, moved severalllllllll times. There have been so many changes, its not even funny! They've really gotten to see me grow up and mature. I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing...lol

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Maybe, could be???

I'm SO hesitant to post this...but I "might" be coming out of this plateau! I was down this morning (finallyyyyyy), but I won't post the number here just in case...lol I can't wait for Saturday weigh-in though to see if its still low.

I wonder how much cardio I'll be able to do the next few days though. Yesterday morning, I sustained a minor injury. I think I pulled a muscle in either my groin or my thigh. Normal strolling is fine, although I have a slight limp. But if I overextend it at all, I about fall out on the floor! Uggh. So no early morning workout today, but its a light day anyway since we have a splurge tomorrow, so I'm going to try and walk at lunch, and just try to keep the pace as much as possible. Oh and drug up on ibuprofen before I go. lol Friday night I think we are going to go swimming again to try and counteract tomorrows indulgence.

Funny story. When I picked up D from daycare yesterday, he was in time-out. On the other side of the room, a little girl was in time-out too. When I asked what happened...yeah, he and the little girl had been smooching!!! Acck! Darn kids starting early! I told him, "don'tchu know you're only allowed to kiss your momma!!!" lol *sigh* I can see his teen years now...omg...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Who for...

At some point in this crazy thing we call Weight Loss, you have to figure out who you are doing it for. And I've come to learn, you can't do it for anyone but yourself. It just doesn't work any other way. I'd like to say that I do this for D, but I know its not the truth. Sure, he might be some of my motivation to keep going, and its nice to have more energy to deal with him, but he's not why I'm doing this. I could say I'm doing this because I know people are watching the blogs. And
while that might be the truth, and its also some motivation because who wants to post that you just ate a crapload of cheesy junk food! But its also not WHY I'm doing this. I'm doing this for me. Because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And once you hit a goal, then you know you CAN. And so can't just give up. Its like you would tell a child who says "I can't do it!!", I KNOW you can do it because I've seen you do it before, even if you don't want to try it right now. And
having lost 75 lbs, I now know I can, so whats another 75 in the big scheme of things?

And I've really come to realize this more over the last few weeks, especially with this dang plateau (on a sidenote: I'm so used to saying dang/damn/freakin plateau on here that I almost said it out loud in front of my grandma the other day...oops!). At some point, you have to
suck it up and realize that YOU are the only one who can make the decision, the only one who makes the choice each day to do what you are going to do. Its given me the strength to know that I really can do this on my own when the time comes for it. Sure, its nice to have the
accountability of the blog, which is something I doubt I will ever stop doing, but the dynamic of your weight loss changes when you pull the strength from within and don't rely on others to be strong for you. The only perfect human ever was Jesus. HE will never fail us. But we are
human, we fail. And its ok. The key is, what you do when you do fail. Do you allow that to set you back? Ya know, I think in some cases, its ok to take a step back and re-evaluate what you are doing. Two steps forward, one step back, right? As long as you keep taking those steps
forward, it will all work out in the end.

I know this was a crazy long blog, but I really felt like it needed to be written today, and I'm sorry its kind of all over the place. You should have seen the first draft!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Some WAY old pics of me...

I came across some of these pics of me as a baby and little kid so I thought I'd share...


That is one bald big ol head...

My big brother and I, look at his CURLS!

Whew finally some hair on that head...

I'm front and center laughing at my grandad and brother's antics...

I think we were being threatened to look at the camera...lol three of us are kinda serious lookin...my brother is on the far left. Then the other 3 are my cousins.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

A few days in...

We are now a few days in to the new tactic, and I can tell that my body is protesting this still. I'm on day 3 of an aching headache all day. Its not keeping me from living life but it sure is annoying as all get out because ibuprofen doesn't even touch it. For the 2nd day in a row, D and I went swimming today, each time for an hour. I'm really hoping maybe this switchup will help as well.

When I weighed in this morning, still no weight change though, but I'm still being patient.

Friday, December 5, 2008

So, the new tactic...

I think I might be on to something with upping calories. I think my body was definitely in starvation mode and its fighting coming out of it with a vengeance. I had a massive headache all day yesterday, and so far today, still have the crazy headache, plus a tummy ache. And ibuprofen is not taking this headache away. I had 800 mg yesterday and it did nada. *sigh*

So I guess I gotta wait and let my body adjust, hopefully the pounds will start moving here soon. I haven't really felt up to eating this morning, but I did have a banana and some hot cocoa, spiked with coffee. Apparently, my new body is COLD all the time! Blah...I was laughing at work yesterday because I used to always be the one complaining about how stuffy it was back here. But now, I'm the one bundled up in a jacket when everyone else is fine. THAT was an interesting turn of events, and one I didn't expect!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Scrooged

I have to admit, most of my life, I've felt like Scrooge. I just never could quite "feel" the holidays. With my mom choosing to not be part of the family, and (up until 2 years ago) not having much of a relationship with my dad, I always felt kind of like the stepchild at family gatherings. My brother lives with my aunt so he was "in" that all the time, and I think it was totally different for me feeling like an outsider. And I hated that feeling...still do. And even the last two years having D, I've still felt like that. Just couldn't get into the holiday spirit, didn't want to put up a tree since I thought he was too young to handle it, and probably wouldn't have kept his hands off it. Plus with my grandad getting close to the end 2 years ago, and then last year our first christmas without him...yeah its been difficult. I still get gifts for D, still did the stocking thing, still made it fun for HIM. But I just usually stay depressed all holiday season.

But this year feels different for ME. This year, I put up the tree, I got some photo cards made for D's teachers and therapists, I might even wear a Christmas shirt on that day. lol Granted, I still feel the loss of not having a mom around. Especially a mom who is alive and CHOOSES to not want to be with her children, who makes the choice to distance herself from family. Which I can't imagine how one comes to that, but thats a whole other blog in itself.

But I think this year, that Scrooge might just be retreating a bit, and I'm happy for that. I don't like feeling that dark cloud during a season that is supposed to be joyous and happy. Maybe this year, I can actually enjoy it for what it is and not think about the other mess.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

A new tactic

Well, this morning I decided to try something new. I'm upping my calories for awhile. The plan is to up them to at least 1600 until next Tuesday, when I'll have a light day, and then our splurge day is on Wednesday. I'm hoping that this will get something done with this dang plateau. And to be honest, having a PLAN for it, is greatly helping the frustration level. I was getting ready to tell this diet to kick rocks earlier! But its good to feel empowered. And shoot, I still might tell it to kick rocks if this doesn't work but its worth a shot for abit. lol

I also think...oddly enough...that maybe my evening cravings are related to this somehow. I had a LOT to eat during the day today to get my calories up (oatmeal, banana, 2 pbjs, apple, lowfat cottage cheese and almonds). But yet tonite, I had about the same amt of cals as a typical dinner, and I'm not feeling the awful cravings too bad. So I don't know if its the sense of empowerment from having a plan to get past this, or if it's because I have not been eating enough during the day that my body is really wanting more in the evening. I have no idea. But tonite is probably the easiest I've had in cravings in a couple weeks now. So I'm happy about that. Its nice for once to not be bombarded with awful cravings. I still feel it, but its tempered and very manageable. Any progress is good, right?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Totally worth it...

Last night, I put up our Christmas tree. Its nothing special, a 6.5 ft pre-lit. And lemme tell ya, I was CUSSIN that thing. It looked so pitiful at first! lol But (and with the help of Beth, bless her heart), we got it all connected, I got all the branches more spread out, and it's looking pretty good now.

This morning, he didn't see it at first fortunately, so I had him go in his playroom while I turned it on. Then I called him in. And the look of wonder on his face just tore my heart to shreds. He was so excited about it, made the whole dang evening putting that thing up, totally worth it. I haven't done a tree in the past, a) didn't want to fool with it in an apartment, and b) he so wouldn't have kept his hands off it. But I am so glad that I did this year. Though I have a bad feeling that I'm going to have a fight on my hands taking it down after Christmas...lol

And to further rip my heart out...he asked me why it came (yes, he asks silly questions), and I said "Mommy put it up so we can look at the lights", he got all excited, gave me a HUGE hug and said "thank you, mommy!!!". Gosh, I love this kid. Though I was ready to strangle him yesterday morning for his attitude. Ironic, huh?

Monday, December 1, 2008

At least give me a VALID argument

D's gotten so argumentative lately. And it is driving me NUTS! Yesterday, I asked him to throw his night time pullup in the trash, he insisted it was dry. I said, I know it is, but if you want to wear your big boy underwear, it needs to go in the trash, its still been used. "But its DRYYYYY". Ok fine, I was not about to wrestle a pullup off him, so he got to wear a pullup all day. This morning, couldn't turn off his tv to get dressed since it wasn't "time yet"...couldn't find his school shoes, insisted they weren't by the back door, when they were right there. As soon as I headed towards the backdoor, all of a sudden, he "found" them. EVERY LITTLE THING he is arguing over, and I swear, I'm starting to wonder if this child is gonna make it to his 5th birthday. OY! Pray for my child, he needs it. lol

LOL and looking at the bright side of things, according to my friend Kristen, "at least he's more vocal". Yeah ok...

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Struggling right now

Its hard to keep your focus when you are in a plateau, doing all the right things, and your body just will not cooperate. I'm getting majorly down about it, but trying to just keep my nose to the grindstone and hope it gets better. It seems like my body is fighting not wanting to go below 250. I hit 254, then back to 257, then slowly down to 254, back to 257, its frustrating me!!! I've tried to change things up, I'm still doing at least 30 of cardio everyday, so far have not missed a day! I made myself go clothes shopping today (my gma wanted to get me some for christmas), and even though I didn't want to go, I got up and went, and it helped some with the frustrations, though not as much as I had wanted. I got 2 pairs of 24 jeans (one was loose in the waist, but perfect in hips), and a size 22 pair of jeans. So at least I know I'm not going back up. Ugghhh.

I've started having nightmares again. I wish I knew what causes them. The one I had last week or so was the worst. I was quite shaken from it for most of the day. I'm exhausted from little sleep (and D has been up WAY early lately), and I don't WANT to sleep since these royally suck. So I'm tired, cranky, no fun. I'm thinking I'm going to make myself go to bed early tonite and just see how it goes. Please pray, these are kicking my butt.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday...what a day!

Did anyone else venture out?

I ended up only having to work til noon (although I did make a quick stop by Office Depot before that to get my new toy!), so my bro, D and I went out to lunch and then went shopping! We had a yummy lunch at Olive Garden (and were joined by Beth and her boys), then hit up Walmart, TRU, and finally the mall. Yikes it was crunk out there! Sheeesshhh...but I guess it could have been worse. I got a few small things, some $4 fleece hoodies for D, some shoes from Disney Store that I wanted for him, a couple shirts from Gymboree. This kid had better be good to go!!!

We had a great day! My bro babysat D while I worked in the morning (his daycare was closed), and D ended up falling asleep on the couch for an hour and a half, so they had a quiet morning. And I will say, for the most part, D was in a really good humor, and that always helps!

If you did venture out, what'd ya get?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!!

And what a way to start the day! D and I did the Turkey Trot this morning. It was SO stinkin crowded but I had a great time!!! D apparently did the Turkey NAP, because right after we crossed the STARTING line, he was asleep in his stroller, and he didn't wake up til there was only about a half mile left. lol Poor sleepy kid, acted like he'd been running or something...lol Anyway, including the jet to the train station afterward (hence why I'm estimating a full 3.5 miles), we completed it in an hour and 4 minutes. That beats our Ovarian Cancer 5K time by 11 minutes. Its SOMETHING!

Here's some pics...we're ready to go!


And little homeboy is passed OUT...
The finish line!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I'm mentally/emotionally exhausted

And frankly, I can not wait for the holidays to be over. EVERY.DAY this week and last, there has been some kind of evil food item up here at work. Yesterday morning, someone was cooking QUICHE; the other day, a big meeting was catered, where they brought in hot cobblers/ice cream/white choc bread pudding. Today, there were donuts! I'm getting so tired of fighting not being able to eat this stuff. I'm standing firm right now, knowing Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I have some goodies planned in moderation, but gosh, this is wearing me down so bad. I try to hibernate in my office if I know something bad is out there, but unfortunately, as in the case of the cobbler/bread pudding, its all set up right outside of our department, and the smells collect back here, which can make it extremely difficult at times.

All that to say, please pray for sanity. lol I could use some.

Off to suck down some more water.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Is Christmas here yet???

I'm so stinkin excited! I'm getting a Wii for Christmas!! YAY!

Now...just gotta get a Wii Fit (my coworker has a brandnew one he'll sell me, but I gotta cough up the $90 for it), and Jillian Michael's Fitness Ultimatum and I'll be set to ramp up this weight loss! I'm going to wait til after Christmas to get the Fitness Ult. and see if I get any good giftcards to use.

On a different topic: you gotta love kids. Why, you ask? Because of their insane ability to melt your heart, stick their hands all into the melted wax, swirl it around, and have you all tangled up. lol This morning, D was being especially unfocused. His meds wear off overnight, so early mornings have been a bit rough lately, and this morning was no exception. So I got frustrated while I was trying to get him dressed this morning. Well, while I was lotioning his legs, I felt him looking at me. So I glanced over at him, and he gives me this gorgeous grin. I busted up laughing, how in the world do you stay frustrated with that!!! lol Gosh, I love that boy.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A night out!

I had a great night out! Too bad I didn't QUITE hit the 250 lb goal by yesterday morning, but I figure I'm close enough. lol My body is having some issues cooperating and its frustrating, but I'll get there.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of the night out, I can not reveal details, but there are a few pics roaming around out there. They'll NEVER be posted though, what happens on a night out, STAYS on a night out.

Today we hit up the Gaylord Hotel to take some pics, and I SO have to show you this comparison:

This was last year:


And this is today...can you believe the change??? I know I'm not NEAR there yet, but its a start! And ack look how much taller D is!!!


Friday, November 21, 2008

TGIF

Ah yes, its that time again. The end of the week, the joy of my whole week, its FRIDAY! And I have some rockin plans for this weekend. I'm getting a night out tomorrow night! My aunt and bro will be keeping D for me (what? did you think I'd leave him home alone? nah...not my style), and I know he'll have a blast. As for me, I'm starting it off with a MNO at Olive Garden, and then... "I love the night life, I love to boogie" *cue dorky dancing* Ok no, I won't be dancing *cough* much *cough*, I'm just not that coordinated, but I do know I'ma enjoy the heck out of the night since they come so few and far between!

I might share some pics later, but then again, it might be like last July. Those pics will never be seen. hehehehe

I did have to go back to the radiology lab today to get an abdominal obstruction series done. Nothing quite like having to strip down to your chonies, don a gown and press up against cold metal to make a Friday. (Although I know secretly, some of you do enjoy partaking of that on a Friday night. Go on, admit it!)

So that was my interesting part of the day. The rest of it has been...meh...typical. I did manage to steer clear of all the leftovers in the kitchen up here at work, although later, I did cop a tiny piece of fudge. But that was it, I promise. Does it count that I balanced it with an apple too? It better! lol Hope all of you have a spectacular weekend, stay warm!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thanksgiving Part 1...DOWN!

Yay! Ok I have to brag on here a bit. So please forgive me. But I did it! We had our work thanksgiving luncheon today, and I was way nervous about it. The mountains of food that were there, looked amazing! But I made a plan and stuck to it. I plotted out exactly what I wanted most (some turkey and gravy, mac n cheese, and a roll). Those were the biggies for me. I planned for half a cup of the mac n cheese. Don't laugh at me, but I eyeballed it, then went back to my office before going in the luncheon to eat, and put it into a measuring cup, and sure enough, exactly half a cup! Hehehe I'm a dork!

So I had it all ready to go on fitday.com (including some salad as filler). At the last minute, I added a tad of chile rice casserole, but I went easier on the gravy to compensate. The only issue, was what to do after I finished eating. I knew that as long as I was around the food, it was just going to get worse.

As soon as I finished, I quietly snuck out and went to Walmart to buy some workout sweat pants that I desperately needed anyway. I know at least one person noticed me leave and wasn't happy about it, but I didn't care. Sticking around was so not worth compromising this diet. I've already been feeling so weak lately mentally, I needed a triumph to empower me! And I got it! Woot!

A huge test today

Today...is our Thanksgiving luncheon at work. I gotta admit, I'm nervous. The thought of all that yummy food is gnawing at me. I will say, I did plan out on fitday.com last night what I think is most important to me in getting some of, so I do have a plan in place. My contribution to the luncheon, is green salad with tomatoes, and fruit salad. So I KNOW there are some healthy options, and that really helps. If nothing else, I can fill up on salad! lol I know thats not much fun. I did plan for some turkey and gravy, some homemade mac n cheese, and a roll. Those are the items I always enjoy the most, so I figured I'd keep it simple and focus on those. Wish me luck today! If I can stick strictly to what I have planned out, and then have a simple dinner tonite, I should be doing great.

What are your holiday plans for surviving without gaining weight? Beth and I had talked awhile back about "just maintaining" through the holidays, but I don't want to go out like that! I have a goal to hit, and I don't want to slow this down. Truth be told, I'm scared to death of backsliding. I know how easy it would be, I fight it every day. So, no, Thanksgiving will not be a splurge day for me. I will probably be a bit higher in cals than usual (probably around 1500), but that will be because I'm doing the Turkey Trot that morning. I'll need a few extra cals!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

This beast

I've been watching the tv show Ruby, about a 500 lb woman trying to lose weight, and I love how aptly she describes a food addiction. Its a "beast". It really and truly is. I know its something I will probably always fight. I can fight on a temporary basis, but I have to reconquer it every single day. Some days, its exhausting, and I give up and have something little. I've learned that in the worst of my cheese/carb cravings, that pickles are an adequate substitute. And they are low-cal, though high in sodium. However, my blood pressure is good right now...lol so I let them help calm the beast. Thats why you see a lot of pickles on my blog posts on our Losin blog. It works when its at its worst.

I still don't ever really feel "full". I don't know that I even really know what that means. I was concerned even at our last splurge, because all that fast food, and I still could have eaten more. And its been 6 months! I wonder if its all a mental thing or what. But it just means I have to work extra hard to let my calorie counts and percentages tell me when I've had too much. :( It sucks but thats how it is I guess.

I went and got a sonogram today for my GI issues, so we'll see how the results come back on that. I'll be starting Miralax here soon and then go from there I guess.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Today is a GI day *updated*

*Update* I went to the GI doc. She checked me over fully...and omg do I MEAN fully...I was quite violated! lol She took some blood, and I'm goin tomorrow for an abdominal ultrasound to make sure there are no obstructions. If it shows clear, I'll be starting on Miralax for the next 3 months, and then we'll go from there. She also suggested I had more healthy oils to my diet, like olive oil, and mainly flaxseed oil. She suggested a breakfast of oatmeal, with some of this cinnamon flaxseed oil you can find at Central Market. Needless to say, I did like her, she was really down to earth. I already have a followup visit scheduled for February. So theres your update. I'm still feeling pretty violated. I didn't even get treated to dinner first. :( Oh well, she was gentle enough. *Update*

Yup, today I go see the GI doc (actually I think she's an internal medicine doc, but close enough) to get my lower body all checked out. I'm extremely frustrated with things as they are, and ready to get some help. Please be praying for wisdom for the doc, that she can pinpoint what needs to be done, or what I can be doing to help this out.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Alzheimers Memory Walk

Today was a special day for me. I walked in the Alzheimers Memory Walk in memory of my grandad. He passed away 2-24-07 of it, and its the first time I've been able to do the walk for him!! So I was excited, I thought about him the whole time, knowing that every little bit of money they raise puts us that much closer to a cure.

My friend and fellow DAM momma and her little man joined us. There were 4 of us that walked, and I SO want to thank you ladies for helping support this as well!! We were at the Dallas Zoo, so we DEFINITELY got a work out in with all the hills!! It was freakin COLD too so we were all bundled up.

Here's pics:

The walk!!

D bundled up at our train stop (yup, we took the train down to the zoo!)

Teresa and J on the train

Me and my COLD little boy

He's so cold, he doesn't wanna be seen...

J is sleepy and bundled up too

Teresa, me, and them boys...the sun was in J's eyes so he was hiding...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Day after a splurge thoughts

Wow, last night was YUM. And it was a lot of fun! Beth and I went and got our pics taken at JCP, I hosted an MNI at my house, and some truly awesome chicks showed up to help us celebrate! I did get Whataburger. I had a chicken strip combo with fries, an extra gravy, texas toast, and a kid size chocolate shake. I was miserable but oh it was good!!! I did compensate by making today a light day.

Ok, so...I had decided months ago, that when I hit 250 lbs, that I would get a sitter for D and have a big night out. Well, I'm 4.4 lbs from that. So I went ahead and scheduled the night out. It will be on November 22nd, which means I have 9 days to get that weight off!!! But I'm coming off a plateau, so its going fast right now, and if I can keep it up, it will happen. I doubt I will cancel the night out if I don't hit it though...its close enough...lol But regardless, I can't wait!! To be honest, I really didn't think I'd make it here. But here I am, and its going to happen!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Psssttt...


Whats that you say? Well...its proof positive that I can freakin hit a goal! LOL That also means that I hit 75 lbs down in 6 months exactly!!! WOOHOO!!!

Today is Beth and I's 6 month diet anniversary, and I am so stinkin excited. We have lots of big plans for the day. Mine started with an awesome weigh-in this morning. This evening, we're going to go get our pictures professionally done at JCPenney, and then we have our splurge night at my house tonite! Its a Fast Food Splurge....BYOFF. And I'm not sure which I'm more excited about, losing 75 lbs, or getting Whataburger...lol hmmm I'll have to think on that. Its bound to be a good day though!!! We'll be posting progress pics hopefully pretty soon, so stay tuned!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A stormy night

Yeah, I was up half the night from it. D was awake at 2am, in my room, but fortunately, he went back to bed and slept the rest of the night. But he sure had to complain this morning about the "thunder last night that hurt my ears outside", he was quite perturbed...hehehe its so fascinating to me to hear him putting this stuff together and having complete thoughts about things, and remembering. He's telling me more lately about school, what he does, what he does not do, and I'm loving it!

I made an appt with a GI doctor for next week, so hopefully I can get some answers for the bowel issues that are plaguing me and which I am pretty certain, are keeping me from losing even more weight. Its frustrating to me! I'll definitely update after that appt.

Tomorrow is a big day for us, not only is it a splurge night (yummy fast food!!! I'm gettin whataburger!), but its the 6 month anniversary of the diet for Beth and I, and goodness knows I couldn't be more excited. My goal has been to hit 255 by then, and I'm SO FREAKIN CLOSE. I weighed in at 256 this morning, so going to keep this a light day today, and hopefully if I can have a BM, it will put me at the mark. Here's hoping, anyway, those darn BMs don't come easily!! If not, I'm sure I'll hit 255 sometime this week, which is still awesome, but oh, to hit it in the morning...that would ROCK.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Half of me...is gone...

And I'm not talkin about weight loss. I've felt for years like I'm not whole. I have God in my life, and I know I wouldn't be truly alive without Him, and I have this crazy funny kid whom I adore, I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and my kid's tummy, and a steady job, but I don't feel complete. Truth be told, I've been depressed over this for a long time now...I don't understand why it seems like God is holding out on me. I know its not my realm of understanding. Maybe I'M not ready, maybe the man God has for me, isn't ready. I just wonder WHEN, God, WHEN? Nights are so lonely I can barely stand it somedays, and I don't want to turn to someone for comfort, when its not in Your plan, God. I got hit really hard with it on Saturday evening, and its been a struggle ever since. I don't want to go my own way outside of Your Will. I want to stay fully in the will of God, but, urgh its tough. I could use some prayer. I pray that if God does want me to remain single, that He'll give me peace about it. But I'm NOT at peace about it. I just wish I could see ahead of the present, to see what is instore for me, maybe then I could understand the wait.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

A new realization

D did something early yesterday, and it didn't hit me til Chera pics yesterday and again today when looking at a few Chera pics I got...but...

D can now lay across my lap without hanging off!!! That's HUGE for me! And Chera captured the cutest pic of it! But I can't share it...lol because they are going to be Christmas gifts and I haven't seen the rest. Plus I don't want to share the outfit yet. lol But don't worry, come December, once gifts are given, I WILL share them! And I have no doubts that some of you will see them way before that, because its going to be hard to keep them under wraps for THAT long.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

We had Chera pics today!

And I can not WAIT to see them! The little bits that I saw on her digital screen, looked like they are gonna ROCK!

Unfortunately, I can not show them yet, as they will be Christmas pics for family, etc. So you guys gots to wait. Ok I might have to do a SMALL sneak peek of those I'm not having printed. But we'll see.

In other news...I tried going back to Covenant tonite, and D made it through the whole service!! WOOHOO!!! This gives me hope. I know he had a timeout, but he MADE IT!! Keep it up, D-man!

Oh yeah, and only 2 lbs to go til I hit the halfway mark! My goal is to hit that by Wednesday which is our 6 month diet anniversary. I'll keep ya posted!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

More tummy issues...

I haven't posted on here about my tummy issues recently but this I need to share. I've posted before about the issues I've had with not "going" but every 2-3 days, and sometimes it gets really painful. I believe its because my colon was so stretched out from my previous diet, that it just is having trouble adapting to the new one.

Well last Thursday or Friday, I had a bowel movement. I did not have another until Tuesday of this week. Monday evening I took a stool softener/laxative. Tuesday morning, nothing, so I took another. This set off a day, afternoon and evening of misery. I'll spare you the details on that. However, when I woke up this morning (Friday), I had not had another BM since then. And I woke up in a LOT of pain. Unfortunately, I can't get into my doctor til next week :( After over an hour in the bathroom, I finally had SOMETHING happen. So that eased it off a bit, but I'm still really sore. When I talked to the nurse, she said they want to refer me to a gastroenterologist(sp?), but want to see me first next week, so we'll see how that goes. Something has to change, this is ridiculous.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Well its been two weeks

Since D started on Strattera. Its been interesting to see the transitions, but so far, I think we are seeing progress. His school is reporting an increase in attention span and focus. Mornings have been rough for us because the medicine from the day before has worn off, so he is more unfocused than normal for him, but I figure as long as he is doing better in school, that's all that matters. I can handle anything else.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Quote for the day:

"I asked God for all things, that I might enjoy life. God gave me life, that I might enjoy all things."

So now what?

The election is finally over, the votes have been counted, and it looks like Barack Obama is going to be our new president. I'm pretty torn on this one. I think its great that our country was able to look past the race issue and elect a black man. It gives me hope that my child will be able to do whatever he wants to in life with no barriers based on that alone.

But I'm bummed. I didn't want this specific black man as our president. Well, I still don't. I do not agree with a lot of the issues he stands for. However, he'll be my president now too. And I respect him for that. However, I'm very interested to see what the next 4 years bring. So I'm just praying, knowing that God is in control no matter what happens. God's got this, no matter who our president is, He never changes, and is always there. Everything else is just gravy, baby.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tell me you did your duty...

Did you vote?? If so, comment and tell me! I don't care who you voted for, my theory is, if you don't vote, you can't complain!!

And after you voted, what good free food did you go get??

Free chickfila? Starbucks? Ben and Jerrys (from 5-8pm)? Can't forget the evilness of Krispy Kreme and the Cupcakery in Frisco! Get your free food on!

Monday, November 3, 2008

I feel like a real girl now!

lol Ok don't laugh, I'm serious. I was looking at the pics from the baby shower, in specific, the last pic. And was really thinking that wow I look like I actually fit IN to a group of other ladies, which is totally a first for me! I've never felt like I belonged in a picture, always the odd one out, the hugely fat one, and I hated it. I hated having my picture taken, but now, I'm starting to enjoy it a bit. And I like that feeling.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

A baby shower for two dear friends!

Today we hosted a baby shower for our friends Amanda and Astreia. They are both due in December and are both such sweet mommas. We had a great time doing it!!! It was a late lunch at Johnny Carinos, and YUM, the food was really good. The wonderfully talented Beth ventured out into the world of fondant, and did SUCH an awesome job on her first cake with it!!! It was incredibly cute! Here's pics!

Cutest.cake.EVER!

Amanda won the first game....go girl!

A beautiful group of ladies!

Amanda and Dina

Amanda's beautiful daughter joined us as a big helper!

The glowing mommas...Astreia and Amanda

More lovely mommas!

And even more!!!

Time to open presents...Isabelle got to help...

And she is such a poser...well...they both are...lol


More presents...

The teddy bear from the cake...all by his lonesome now...

Isabelle didn't even want to be IN this pic, but look at that face!

Baby belly!

And our guest of honors with us two hostesses

Saturday, November 1, 2008

So...its a weightloss announcement...

Ok its not a huge milestone. I still have a few more lbs til I hit one of those, but it IS a nice round number. lol Yup, as of this morning, i have officially lost 70 lbs, putting me at an even 260 lbs! Yup!!! I was excited!! I had been in a plateau for a couple weeks now and finally broke through it, and I couldn't be more happy.

It WAS a rough morning after that. D's therapist came by and he was already way tired, it kind of spiraled out of control, and he ended up running out the door when it was time for her to leave. I couldn't get around her to grab him, and he took off. Went running towards the street, turned at the sidewalk, kept running. He finally stopped up the street, but as soon as I got closer to him, he turned and ran INTO THE STREET. I have never freaked out so bad as a parent as I did then. MRI's, EEG's, adenoid surgery, stitches, 106 degree fevers...NONE of that is as horrifying as seeing cars in your peripheral vision headed toward your child while you are frantically tryin to get to them first. I took off running and grabbed him. I think I scared him by my reaction because by the time we got in the house, we were both bawling. Within 10 minutes, he was passed out asleep on the couch. I had known he was way tired, he was almost asleep before his therapist got there. Poor guy, his new med can really take it out of him...*sigh* dang, I think I just saw a few more gray hairs. And all I can think, is that 6 months and 70 lbs ago, I might not have been able to reach him. :(

The rest of our day after his nap was just fine other than typical D stuff. We got a lot of Christmas stuff bought for the projects we will be doing for gifts. We're making all of our gifts this year, so I'm excited. A few more little things will finish them out. But I can't spill the beans yet!! *grin*

Beth and I are hosting a baby shower tomorrow for two of our friends so stay tuned for pics of that!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Even MORE optimistic

That tomorrow's weigh-in might really show this plateau busted! Come onnnnnnnnn Saturday weigh-in!!

Tonite was a lot of fun. We tried out this mexican food restaurant in East Plano, Aparicios, and it was YUM! We sat out on the patio, it was nice and cool, the kids were behaving VERY well, and it was an enjoyable dinner! After that, we hit up a fall festival (check the mom2lild blog for pics of that).

In good news...I got an appointment with a neuropsychologist for D to have a battery of tests done. I spoke with him today and feel pretty confidant in seeing him and putting D through this. He said it will probably take about 4 hours, BUT we got a Saturday appt! So no missing work for it. Whew. I'll be sure to update how things go.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

So Beth and I were talkin...

and while this is a daily (hourly?) occurrence, we were talking about the weight we've lost (gasp!!! would you believe that?) and we both realized...that we now weigh the LOWEST we have weighed in ten years at least! That's high school, baby!!! SO we are all excited, and pressing on to victory!

I hesitate to post on here yet, but I'm cautiously optimistic that I might be breaking out of this plateau. This morning, the scale did get below 264 (263.8, barely...lol), which it has not in at least 3 weeks, so we'll see if this continues til at LEAST my weigh-in on Saturday...lol

I'm debating on if I want to get a cheap bike to ride around, and then save up for when I get down to 180 and get a NICE bike. I used to love riding as a kid and teen, so I really want to give it another shot. I do need to figure out logistics with D though. I'm not towing his 45 lb butt around behind me! And he's not ready to ride a bike yet, he might never be with his brain wiring issues. He has midline issues, which keep the two sides of his body from completely working together sometimes. So we'll see. I might just have to drop him off at school really early some mornings and go ride, or have a teen sitter come over some evenings? I have no idea.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Well on a good note...

At LEAST, if my weight plateau is still sticking around...I can take some comfort in the fact that the pants I put on this morning, were quite snug 2 weeks ago, and are now nice and loose around the middle. Not falling off loose, but comfy loose. I'm choosing to take consolation in the fact that things are moving around in my body...lol weird huh?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Congrats!!!

I just wanted to send a congratulatory shout-out to my cousin and his wife. They welcomed their new baby girl into the world this morning!!! She weighs 9 lbs 3 oz and I bet she is beautiful!! Baby girl joins her big sister who just turned 2 this month, two October babies!

So YAY!!! Congrats you guys!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dang plateaus

Yeah, I think I've hit one. And I hate em. I know its all part of this fun weight loss journey but it doesn't mean I have to like it or accept it!

So yesterday I stayed a bit under on calories, and I might do the same today. I'm contemplating staying between 1200-1300 all week, since lately my cals have been consistently higher. I took a very brisk walk yesterday, and even though I didn't note it on our Losin blog, I did some dancing last night with my ipod on, so got some more cal burn there too. I need to up the exercise, been way slacking on it. Anyone wanna go walk at the Galleria at lunch?

First step though, I had a good protein filled breakfast. Eggbeaters with salsa, sliced turkey, and a slice of cheese. It was YUMMY. I've already got my lunch/snacks plotted out on fitday for today. So I think I've gotta great start to the day. All I know is, this plateau can NOT last. I weigh in again this next saturday and it so better be GONE. November 12th is our 6 month mark, which leaves me 2 weeks and 2 days to get down 9 lbs (halfway mark to 180 lbs)...eekkkk. I don't think I'm gonna hit it but I'm hoping if I can bust this plateau it will go fast for a bit. We'll see. I had so hoped to hit it by November 8th (our Chera pics) but no way is that gonna happen.

Dang plateaus.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Sleepy D...

So D started his new meds on Wednesday. I was curious to see how today went. Well...he was up at 6:30am this morning. Took his med about 8am, when I dragged myself out of bed...lol I fed him some breakfast abit before 10, which he ate every bit of (mommy actually cooked...lol Eggbeaters with Yolks, with cheese on top, plus 2 nutrigrain lowfat waffles and light syrup, YUM!!!) I got in the shower about 10:10, and he wanted to lay on the futon while I did. He's been asleep ever since, and its now 11:40am. Homeboy needs to wake up soon since we have a bday party to go to at 12:30 but I think we might just have to be a bit late, it would break my heart to wake him up since he doesn't get naps all week and was up late last night too. But at least it means we had a semi-quiet morning, and we'll prolly be able to stay longer at the bday party with him coming off a good nap! And we have to go shopping afterward. lol

Friday, October 24, 2008

I wanted to be...

And I came very close to being...preachy...on here today. I was working on a blog post and ohmuhgoodness, it got long and drawnout. Thats not counting the other post I have written in my email drafts and have never posted. I really struggle on here sometimes with utilizing it as a tool to just share, or a tool to throw out mad opinions on everything. So I think I'll keep it toned down, and just simply say, "Jesus loves you". Thats the full gist of the whole thing I had written anyway, might as well keep it short and sweet.

Today is day 3 of D's med. He came home last night and passed out asleep right after dinner, but they also went to the park at school today, so he was tuckered OUT. He's now taking the capsule in the morning like a champ! I'm so proud of him for picking that up quickly.

Beth posted this on our Losin blog, but I wanted to mention here too. I'm having a terrible time with sweets lately. I don't know WHAT it is. But so far today I haven't had any (not that I didn't WANT some...lol), and tonite I'll allow a little bit but thats it. I need to put a stop to this.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

My sweet boy

I have to share all this. My sweet boy just makes me go awwwwwww ALL.THE.TIME. Sure he drives me nuts half the time, but he's 4, he's supposed to.

First, this morning, I was getting him dressed, and he said "I dont wanna be cold". I said "I know, baby, thats why I'm putting you in an undershirt and this jacket..." He gets all sweet and goes "thank you mommy!!!" with a big grin and gives me a HUGE hug...

Then, I was giving him his medicine, and he swallowed the pill on the FIRST try this morning, and he got all excited and gave me lots of big hugs, he was so proud of himself!!!

I so hope he knows just how much he is loved! Even before I met him, I knew he was the child for me. His foster parents went on one last family vacation with him before I got to meet him, and I swear, I MISSED him. It was hard to think that he was in another state, when I just wanted to bring my little boy home. And yes, the last two years, we've had our ups and downs, but my love for him grows deeper every single day.

But I have to tell you how crazy this kid is...last night, with it being so cold, after he was asleep, I went in to put an extra blanket on him. Its a blanket that usually is in my room for when he comes in there in the mornings to lay down. But I had just washed it, gotten it out of the dryer, it was all snuggly and warm. And it was COLD last night. So why...at 2:30am, did he wake up and bring the blanket BACK to my room, and went back to bed. This child and his routines...lol He's such a hot mess. But he's MY hot mess.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Someone totally made my day

And I have NO CLUE who it was!!! Some lovely person left me flowers on my doorstep this evening, along with it was a sweet note, but no name signed. So whomever you are, if you read this blog, THANK YOU!!!! They are my faves and they are just beautiful!


Just some things

Well, D started Strattera today. It was in a capsule form, not a liquid, so it made it interesting, but he caught on the 2nd try how to swallow it...yay!!! Now we wait for the side effects to kick in. We'll see how the day goes.

My body has been weird this past week. I've been having some headaches in the evenings, but last night was the worst. While fixing dinner, I was so overcome with nausea/dizziness that I had to move the skillet off the burner and go sit down for a minute...what WAS that? I had not eaten anything since coming home and thought my lunch was fairly normal. So I have no idea, but I sure didn't like it! Fortunately after I ate some dinner, it got better and I was able to bust out a good workout. But wow.

I realized the other day while shopping how funky my body image is, and probably will be. Seeing myself from the inside is a lot different than seeing it from the outside. There are lots of days where I don't feel like I've lost anything at all, and sadly its more often than not. Oh sure I do notice things like moving easier, etc, but just sitting in here doesn't feel different much. So when I was shopping yesterday, I looked at a pair of 22 jeans thinking I am twice the size of those, but lo and behold, they fit. So I have proof this weight IS coming off, but man, I sure need to realize it in how I view myself. Thats been a challenge since starting this whole process, but I have hopes that it will happen. Maybe once I hit my huge goal...lol Eh, we'll see.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Can't let Beth have all the fun!!!

Well since voting failed today, I went shopping at the Avenue. At the start of the diet, I was at 30/32. The last time I went shopping I was still in 26s with a few 24s thrown in. I'm happy to say, I am now officially at a 22/24 pant size!!! YAY!!! So I got two pairs of work pants and 2 work shirts (in the 18/20 top size that I was in last time I shopped). I'm excited!

Andddd as of Saturday, I am officially halfway to being under 200 lbs (65.8 lbs down total)!! So I have 65.2 lbs to go til I hit the 199 lbs mark. Seems like a longggggg ways away to me, but really, I did this in a little over 5 months, so I'm guessing it will take 6 or so months to get the rest out of the way which is NOT THAT BAD comparatively! My ultimate goal is 180 (will refine it later), so I'm not quite halfway to that yet, but getting closerrrrrr. And when I hit 250 lbs, I'm treating myself to a big night out. 14.8 lbs left to go til that!

I'ma go vote today

*Update* I TRIED to vote...lol but since I have to do it on a limited ballot (I moved counties and my registration never got changed to the new one), noone told me I had to go to the MAIN polling place for my county :( But I will try again on Thursday *Update*

Yup, I do believe I'm going to go at lunch and do it. I'm very excited about it, I feel like I've made the best decision I can make for what I feel is most important. I was a McCain supporter before he ever put Palin in as a running mate, and I feel even more strongly now in their favor.

However, and not to get this too deep and preachy, I'm praying that no matter WHO wins, that they will lead this country with solid Godly values, that they will make decisions based on getting this country where it needs to be as a Godly nation. I believe this country was begun on a Christian foundation, and it has strayed so far from that. So I will keep praying, and whoever wins, I will be praying for them specifically as well.

And above all else, IMHO, if you don't vote, you can't complain. So please get out there and vote (*cough* For McCain*cough*), or else, if the person you didn't want in office wins, I do NOT want to hear about it!

Monday, October 20, 2008

I didn't do it...

Thats right, I didn't step on the scale yesterday morning nor this morning. Go me!! I really need to focus on only weighing once a week so Saturdays it is.

This week, I want to really focus on cracking down on my calories and exercise. The last few weeks I've been semi-high on cals but have had decreased exercise and even though I've still lost some weight, its been varying so much, its hard to tell. I need to really get motivated to get back on track working out, doing the videos, the On Demand ones, etc. I've been slacking and doing bare minimum 30 minutes for quite awhile now. I don't want to take the chance that I will backslide! Yesterday, I bought new workout pants and a sports bra from...wait for it...Old Navy!!! Both were XXL and both fit! I was so excited, and I wore em both around the house a bit last night but was too tired from our longgggg day to do anything. Tonite, however, its on! I don't know if I'll be up for doing a Jillian Michaels workout...lol but you never know...anything is possible, right? Check out our Losin blog tomorrow to see what I did tonite in exercise.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Well, no meds yet...

*sigh* D didn't start Strattera today. I took the rx by CVS yesterday after work, not knowing that it needed to be precertified, and of course they couldn't get in touch with his neuro that late in the day. :( So the earliest he could start it is Tuesday morning. I'm debating if I want to start it on Tueday or wait til next Saturday so I can monitor him. Ehhh, we'll see what happens.

On a good note, I had a GREAT afternoon! I got 4 kid-free hours to go to a movie! Some other DAM mom's and I saw The Secret Life of Bees at the Studio Movie Grill. It was such a good movie, I laughed, cried, all of the above. I can't believe Dakota Fanning is getting grown!! She's all lanky and she kissed a boy...she's not OLD enough to do that! But all in all, it was great.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Gutcheck time!

I've always loved that part of the show Friends...lol I say this, because D starts Strattera tomorrow. So it could be an interesting weekend. I'm definitely excited though. Our church is having a special needs kids day out, so I will have 4 kid-free hours tomorrow! I'm going to go see The Secret Life of Bees, which just opened today. And Sunday, we're going to hit up a pumpkin patch, which should be a lot of fun. We went last year and the kids all had a blast. So hopefully it will be a fun weekend, even if D is fairly whiny from being doped up. Wish us luck and I'll update here how he does. Then after this weekend, check D's Adventures blog for pumpkin patch pics!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The scale

I'm going to start weaning myself off the scale. Up until now, I've weighed about 3 times a day. It worked for me, because I needed that constant reminder of how much I've lost. But I'm getting sorely frustrated with all the fluctuations. I don't "count" the weight every time I weigh, I count it about twice a week, so I think I'm going to attempt to just weigh twice a week as well. If I really am not motivated, then I'll weigh, but am going to try this and see how it goes. To start with, I'm going to weigh on Wednesdays and Saturdays, with Saturdays counting for changing my weight on the blogs. Wish me luck in this new method.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

D's neurology appt today

Well, we spent 2.5 hours at Children's Neurology Clinic this morning. All in all, things were good. They noticed some issues with his reflexes, such as his left leg would not jerk out when the knee was tapped with a hammer, and his right leg took its sweet time with that. He had some coordination issues with touching his fingers together. The neuro said we do not need another EEG soon, which I am quite relieved about! And his Trileptal can stay the same.

However...his neuro does want me to start D on Strattera, which is an ADD medicine. I have to admit, I used to be hugely against medicating children, but I'm really considering this. His neuro made a good point when he said that with D's neurological issues, this isn't something he can help, that sometimes it has to be controlled medically, and isn't a learned behavior. Ok, I'll buy that. I'm just concerned that he'll turn into a zombie, and I don't want to lose my little boy with all his personality out the wazoo. But I'm thinking we're going to take this leap of faith and try it out. I've talked to teachers at both of his schools. The guidance counselor and his teacher at PPCD are very supportive. I also talked to the main teacher he is with at his daycare, and she asked me to program my phone number into her cellphone, so she can call me immediately if she has concerns. So I was very relieved by that!! I know that with us all working together for his benefit, great things are bound to happen for the D-man.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Happy hour with friends

Well, noone actually drank anything alcoholic but it was still fun...lol


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Our October Splurge Night

Well, its that time again! And it was SO a much needed one. We hit up Saltgrass Steakhouse and chowed DOWN. If you really have to know what we ate (aside from my picture below) then check out our Losin blog, otherwise, enjoy the pics!


Beth's about to be very happy

Melissa and her daughters joined us!

Rena came too!

There's the birthday girl, Teresa, her little man, J, and her best friend.

Me and my baby

Ok I haven't had CFS in 5 months, but even THIS seems excessive to me! But omg it was YUM.

Beth made a YUMMY birthday cake for Teresa...lets sing!

Uhhh, nice hat?

D's gettin jiggy wit it...

The group pic