Frustrated

So my body hit that 299 mark, and I hit a wall. It's not budging. Everyday these last two weeks, my weight has fluctuated between 301 and 297, and it will NOT get moving downward again. I've been good at calories too. There has been a day or two where I went up closer to 2000 cals, but even then, that's still under what I CAN have. For the most part, I've stayed around 1400-1500 calories, and have rocked at making sure to calorie count EVERY SINGLE THING.

Granted, my exercise has REALLY lacked in motivation, but it seems to me that the weight should still be moving?? We've had some good swimming days and usually that keeps it moving. It's very very frustrating and this morning, I seriously considered chunking my scale against the wall. Would it have done any good? No, not really. Would I have felt better? Nah...but man, I thought about it.

In the meantime, I'm holding on to the hope that it WILL move again. I refuse to give into the cravings and go back to where I was just a few short months ago. And I keep telling myself, this is only temporary, this is ONLY temporary.

This better be only temporary.

I shouldn't have doubted

I was REALLY starting to doubt that I would hit the goal that I set. Esp since my weight stalled out not long ago at 310, BUT it got moving very quickly again, and this morning, the last day of the month, I'm pleased to announce that I weighed in at 299.4 lbs! Nailed it!

What definitely helped a lot was being able to start swimming this weekend. We spent two full days in and around lakes and loved every minute of it! We found a lake near us with some really good parks and swim beaches, so we very well might be enjoying that more than our local pools this summer. It's cheaper too!!!

Some goals met, more to go!

I'm excited to announce that I hit the minimum fundraising goal for my 3 Day Walk!!! We had an awesome Pure Romance party this past Saturday as a fundraiser and that topped me over the $2300 mark. Woohoo! This means I can actually get checked into the walk, however, NOW I hope to actually be physically able to do the walk.

My foot is still constantly aching, with occasional stabs of pain. Last week, I walked every single day, at least 20-30 minutes, and had a ton of pain in the evenings. So this week, I'm trying a new strategy. Last night, we ended up walking 50 minutes total (did about 2 miles), and the pain while walking was no worse than having done just 20 minutes at the time (the pain over night and this morning though? Yowza.). SO...I'm going to try completely resting it today (will do my trainer workout tonite which keeps me off my foot for the most part), and then tomorrow do another 2 or so miles, as far as I feel I can go. I'm hoping that this might strengthen it a bit more. Or it could be a huge fail. Ya never know until you try. I was really losing motivation for walking, so it feels good to have some sort of "plan", if nothing else.

As for the headaches, they still come and go. In fact, Monday and Tuesday of this week were especially bad for that. I REALLY need to take my doc's advice and go back to my TMJ doctor. Once she mentioned that, I started paying more attention and yeah, I HAVE been grinding my teeth more, making my jaw pop more (it pops everytime I move my mouth, but it's becoming habit to MAKE it pop while idle), and she thinks it could be causing the headaches.

So there's my update. I don't know if I'll hit the goal of being under 300 by Memorial Day, but darn it, I'm doing my best to accomplish it. My calories have been really good lately. I've had a few minisplurges, but nothing to derail me, they were all very much controlled, and I feel good about them. And if I don't hit that goal, it's ok. It's not going to stop me in this.

Vision statement

I'm not active on sparkpeople.com but I still get their newsletter, and today's was regarding making a vision statement for weight loss. I perused the article, and want to start working on this on my blog here. Today I'm going to focus on my motivations.

My number one motivation:

is this little man.

I want to BE there for him, be able to run with him, and never get weary. But also, I don't want him thinking that "THIS" is ok. I've worked really hard since getting him to make sure that he gets fruits and veggies and likes them, but he definitely doesn't see me eating as much of them as I'd like. And imho, that's a big part of kids loving them longterm, is seeing their parents enjoy them, modeling that behavior. I never want him to have to struggle with his weight the way that I do, I want him to be healthy, and happy.

My number two motivation:


is myself.

I want to be able to enjoy life ALL the time, to not have a lack of energy, to be able to move with ease, never have to worry about a seat being too small. I'm tired of feeling like the odd one out because of my size, tired of seeing pics of me in a group and just being astounded at how much bigger I am than everyone else. Last year, I discovered a passion for trailwalking. It soothes me, those long walks, and I want to be able to do them all the time. And now, with my heel spur, I want to get this weight off, to have more pressure off my heel, so I can take part fully in the 3 Day Walk. Someday, perhaps, I want to run or be able to get on a bike that doesn't get bogged down by my weight. I want ME to be able to come out and play, and so I'm writing all this down, to keep as a reminder of everything I want out of life. I'm doing really good right now with the diet and plugging along day by day with it, and the weight is moving off, but I want building blocks already laid in a solid foundation, so that when the weight stops for a bit, I don't get bogged down in it like I did last time and backslide. So here I am.

More to come in a few more days as I compile and sort through my thoughts.

Two month update

I neglected to come update this two days ago. So will update from today. I'm happy to say that I am down 25 lbs since March 1st. Woohoo! 23.2 lbs was the official two month loss though.

I think I'm in a decent groove on eating. Awhile back, I ended up upping my cals to about 1400-1500 a day. I'm also eating more throughout the day, more fruits, more veggies, and while i still eat a lot of processed foods, esp for lunch, this is working. Yeah, I still have mild cravings, but they aren't near as bad as they used to be. I'm also eating little amounts of splurgy type foods as it happens, allowing some things and avoiding other things all together, but not having true splurge days where I don't count calories. Everyday, I count calories. Since this seems to be working, I'm rolling with it.

My foot still hurts quite a bit at times, but I'm managing. It has meant that I can't walk more than about 30 minutes straight, BUT I've been walking that 30 minutes a lot of days. This past week I walked every single day for 20-30 minutes. So that's just going to have to work for now. I'm hoping to start slowly bumping it up soon.

And in 3 Day news, I have less than $300 to go to reach my goal of $2300! The dinner/raffle fundraiser that Dina and I did was super successful! We raised $730 that evening, and had a lot of fun.

Not just plantar fasciitis

I went to the podiatrist today, who did xrays on my feet, and it turns out, I also have heel spurs. No bueno. So my doc put me on a fairly conservative treatment plan which includes new shoes (which I already have), heel inserts, more motrin, aspercreme, and then in a couple of weeks I can come back and get a cortisone shot if needed. Worst case scenario would be surgery, but she didn't think it'd come to that. She did say I could start slowly adding in some walking up to my comfort level. I asked about a mile a day, and she said that would be fine as long as I'm not hurting much. Basically, I can't make it worse, as it's not the spur itself hurting, its the tissue around it. So I can make my pain much worse on ME, but not the condition itself.

We did talk about the 3 Day. She said it really depends on how treatments go. She didn't rule it out though, which gives me hope! And she said I'd need to be willing to not be afraid to use the medics if necessary to ice it or wrap it. So it's still def a possibility. I'm going to work my hardest to make sure I can safely train and be prepared for it, while encouraging healing. I need to get down in weight as much as possible between now and then too, which will help take some of the pressure off too.

Plantar Fasciitis

Total suckage here. I'm working on healing up my foot now thanks to plantar fasciitis. I walked almost 6 miles on Saturday, 3 on Sunday with quite a bit of pain, and then a slowish 1.77 on Monday, and by then, I was in a LOT of pain. I can't walk at all barefoot, esp when I first get up in the morning, so have to have shoes on even at home (thank goodness for my crocs!!). And doing any kind of light walking (like going into stores for instance) leaves me in pain. So for now, all walking has been halted to let this heal. I've also begun doing stretches, icing it, etc. And I'm shoe shopping again, and will be headed to a podiatrist soon. On the one hand, I'm glad to know about this now so I can be prepared come November for the 3 Day, but I'm also extremely frustrated. With the added walking, my weight has really begun dropping, and the weather has been so beautiful, I want to be out in it. I don't want anything derailing me!

My basic plan right now, is to baby it til this weekend, and then maybe get in a slow mile in new shoes. A very slow mile. If that feels ok, I'll add more distance, though certainly not the 6 miles I WANTED to do this weekend again. :( But hopefully, if I do this the right way, I'll be back doing long walks in no time.

Slight change

If you look at the right side of the blog, I made a small change to the ticker. It was originally setup to log miles walked this year. Well, the first part of this year wasn't so good so I restarted it to log since March 1st, when Beth and I restarted the Losin Together blog. It's not super impressive yet, but stay tuned, it's gonna get GOOD. :)

A walk to remember

Last year, with all the long training walks I did for the half, I learned a lot of valuable lessons about nourishing my body and providing it with energy. Yeah, apparently I forgot all of those lessons since then. D and I headed out on a 4-5 mile walk today. I did try to be semi-prepared. I had carby snacks, ate a PBJ before going, had 2 bottles of water in the stroller, and had on sunscreen and a hat. But then, an old friend caught up to me on the trail, and we chatted some as we walked so I ended up going a mile further than planned. On our way back, at 4.22 miles, I stopped to let D go play on a playground right off the trail. He took off running, immediately tripped and scraped the mess outta his knee, blood everywhere. As I cleaned him up, my body felt weird. I knew what was coming then. It was hitting an energy wall. I immediately started munching on carbs and sucking down water, but it wasn't enough. We ended up sitting til the dizzyness passed, but were still 1.5 miles from home. So we got up finally and started walking. I didn't get far before I hit that wall again and had to sit down. At this point, I came very close to calling a friend to come get us, but wanted to give it one more try. Again, didn't make it far. As I was sitting down on the curb, the color purple in the stroller caught my eye. It turned out to be a bottle of Propel. Score!! Even though it expired in Feb, I quickly downed 1/4th of it. The resulting energy surge, and drinking the rest of it on that 1.5 miles, got me home. So...lesson remembered. Water is NOT enough for me. I think I was feeling a lot of that at the half last year too. My body needs those electrolytes. Moral of the story: know your body and be prepared, you can't afford to get stuck out on a trail somewhere!! (This is not the first time I have learned a hard lesson out on the trail...sheeesh) But despite it all, I feel great about having done a total of 5.78 miles today.

Welcome to April

It's April 5th but close enough. Easter was this past weekend, and despite how I felt all day, D and I had some really good discussion about it. I found a video online that we watched together, and then I read him the easter story from his kiddo bible. This is the first year that he really asked more questions, and while I know he still doesn't understand it, nor can he grasp it, I loved some of the questions he had.

I also changed my Heels and Hills walk in May to the 10K. I'm so not ready for the half, and that was a tough choice to make but, I feel it's for the best. I HAVE started training for the 3 day in November, and have gotten in a couple of decent 3 mile walks. We have lots more distance to travel but I'm making a good start.

Despite AF being a PITA this week, my weight has been coming down this past week and weekend, esp with the upped walking. I am loving that and will definitely continue on this path.

And finally, I reached over 50% in my 3 Day walk fundraising!!! I def have my team, The Boobie Battalion, to thank for helping in that, as it was the garage sale that threw me over. We work so well together as a team, and I can't wait for the walk!

A good reminder

So I get the Jillian Michaels emails in my inbox, and just wanted to share this as it struck a chord with me. I didn't even need to read the whole article...lol just the teaser caught me.

"Who doesn't want to look totally hot? If you asked 100 people who were starting to exercise for the first time (or returning to regular workouts after a long time off) what their main motivation was, the majority of them would say something like, "I want to look good," or "I want to fit into a size __ again." And hey, whatever gets you on track initially is good enough for me. But when that scale hasn't budged in a few weeks, it's time to remind yourself that there are lots of other reasons to make exercise a habit."

You can read the rest here.

That struck close to home, even though it hasn't been weeks, but this week my body has been quite weird about the weight. On Wednesday, it jumped UP 2.4 lbs, and I've eaten REALLY good this week. SO I was getting frustrated. It's just SLOWLY come back down the last two days too. But I keep reminding myself that that doesn't give me the liberty to say screw it and eat whatever and not exercise. That this is a day by day process, and even if I lose NO weight at all, I'm doing what is right for my body so that I can lead a HEALTHY and more productive life. I'm eating healthier, making better choices, and getting my workouts in. As such, my body IS getting stronger. I do things in my workout with my trainer that I couldn't do 3 months ago. I can feel the changes slowly but steadily. So for now, I'm good...that email was just the motivation I needed to keep at it another day. And I thought I'd share.

Not so daily anymore...

I have SO slacked this month posting on here...sorry! I have been posting on Beth and I's Losin blog daily, recording what I eat and my activity. Since March 1st, I'm down 6 lbs. Well, 8, but our weigh-in today was after a lot of carbs etc for me on Saturday, so 6 "official" lbs. Regardless, despite some emotional stuff going on, I've been sticking to the diet for the most part and am feeling pretty good about my choices.

I started walking again today. D and I got out for a 3.27 mile walk tonite. It was tougher than I thought it would be, but did include some decent hills.

I'm pretty much having to admit that I likely won't make the Heels and Hill Half Marathon in May. It saddens me, but I just don't think I'll be ready! I'm going to keep pushing forward as if I'm still doing it though, and might make a last minute decision to go ahead, but as of now, I'm not seeing it happen. I still weigh 29 lbs more than last year's half, and can only imagine how much harder it will be. So that's my big announcement. However, the September half is definitely still on, and I'm excited about having all summer to swim and get in good training walks, now that the majority of my eating is under control.

And finally, our 3 Day team fundraising is going really well! We just had a garage sale this past weekend, and will continue it this coming weekend since we still had so much stuff left. Despite the rain and cold, we were quite successful!! So...on we go towards hitting our goals!

It's never too late...to start over...

So...Beth and I decided to restart the Losin Together blog today. Goodness I've been struggling, and she has as well, so it's about time. We've talked about it in the past, but now, it's on!

I haven't posted food on here in awhile anyway, so this blog will stay about the same...I'll keep doing updates a couple of times a week, or every day if I really make some improvements.

So as of tomorrow, head over to our Losin Together to check out our progress or search for us on Facebook, we have a fan page!

In other updates, I'm still diggin training with Janie. She just upped my reps again, and while OUCH, it's a good feeling to be stronger and know I couldn't have done this three months ago.

We ate crap yesterday, BUT we got some good walking in. Two friends, me and our kids walked to eat lunch at a restaurant, which is 1.2 miles from my house. We walked back, hung out a bit, and then walked up to a football game half a mile away from my house. We got in a total of 3.4 miles roughly. It was such a good feeling! Too bad I ruined it with the food choices I made.

In memorium

So yesterday was D and I's 3rd anniversary of the adoption being final. Well, today, is the 3rd anniversary of my grandad passing away. He'd been in a coma for a week or so, the end stages of Alzheimers, and I almost rescheduled the adoption hearing, but we had no idea when he would go, he could have gone another few days. And I really felt that with everything going on centering around my grandad, that D deserved "his" day.

The day that he died was interesting though. We were waiting on my uncle to get back in town to say goodbye. My grandparents have 5 kids; 4 girls and one boy. I had this feeling my grandad was waiting on my uncle to get there, and sure enough. We'd been at their house most of the day, and as soon as my uncle showed up, D and I left to go to my other aunt's house so D could get a nap. As we were headed to her house, it was right as a massive sandstorm blew through Dallas, and as we got to her house, we got the phone call that he had died. The sky was all orange and brown, it was surreal.

It's been 3 years and half the time I still feel like he's here. When I'm at my grandma's house on Sundays, sometimes it seems like he's going to come out of the bedroom at any moment. My dad and I have gotten closer since I got D, but my grandad was so much more like a dad to me growing up. He was a great man, quiet, solid, always there. I miss you, Grandad. We'll never forget you, but I so wish you and D had been able to get to know each other.

Happy Gotcha Day!!

Today is the 3rd anniversary of D and I going before a judge and promising to mommy and son forever! He never promised to be good, and I never promised to be perfect, and we're an even match. I *heart* that kid!!

How did we celebrate? Well...I put him to bed early, and left him with my brother to go see one of my favorite shows: Phantom of the Opera. Yes, I'm a mean mommy, it's ok, we'll celebrate tomorrow. POTO was AMAZING. I've listened to the music of it for years, and have seen the movie, but none of those could compare to seeing it live. We ended up getting 6th row seats from another momma who was not able to use them. It was TOTALLY worth the expense.

Rough, emotional week

I got some bad news regarding after school care for D on Wednesday and it really made my week spiral. And as such, so did my emotional eating. :(

I also know that this coming week is going to be an emotional one (stay tuned for posts on that). SO today, we hit up the grocery store, got lots of fruits and veggies, lean proteins, etc, and I am ready for a good week. I tried to make sure to be as prepared as possible.

We did have a good weekend though even though it was busy. Some babysitting, two trips to Ikea, hanging out with good friends, and busy work on my living room (pics to come), made for a very tired Brandie!!

Best snow EVAH!

So I purposely waited til today to post again. I noticed that as it got closer to VDay this past Sunday, I got increasingly DONE with it. And all I wanted to do was rant about the day. So, to spare your eyes that, I stayed away from here. I'm better now. We did end up having a fairly busy weekend, but the HIGHLIGHT of it was that the weather made it a 3 day weekend!

This past Thursday, around 3am, it started snowing, and kept snowing. We got about 12 inches of snow! So work let out early on Thursday, and most schools in the area shutdown on Friday. No work! The best part, was that really, the roads didn't ice. It never got low enough in temp to, so we were able to get out and about on Friday, and just enjoy the day! D loved playing in the snow, I think it was a once in a lifetime opportunity! I'm 30 and have never seen that much...so...YEAH.

We also got to meet my cousin's new baby girl! They were visiting this weekend from Colorado, and she is just PRECIOUS...

I topped off the weekend with a trip to Ikea for a new coffee table, side table, and rug. I'm revamping my living room some and can't wait to see it completed!

One simple change

It's amazing to me how one simple change in the order of my workout, can be so much more effective. The last week, it had been getting easier to do one full round of the workout and then do it all over again a second time. Well, last night, my trainer had me double each set as I do it, and omg I was hurtin. I finished strong, but man, I could feel it SO much more! It was still the exact same workout as this past week, but just changing the timing of it, wow. So while I'm not truly sore, I have a few twinges in places, esp my triceps. It's more of a feeling tho that they got worked, not really "sore". I love that we are changing just enough each week to keep it amped. I'm not getting complacent in this, thanks to my awesome trainer!

A big S day...

Sunday...Sweethearts...Superbowl...Satisfying food at Twisted Root? Ok that last one is pushing it a bit with the "S".

Despite AF trying to ruin my day, we made the best of it anyway. It was a rocky morning, but D had sweetheart pics with his little friend this afternoon. So he got all dressed up for that, and I do have to say, even though I may be a bit biased, I have NEVER seen cuter children!! :) Yeah I'm biased.

After that, we hit up Twisted Root for dinner. And even though money issues were the main reason for what I got, I did NOT get a burger. *gasp* That's right, though I can't say that what I got was a TON better...a grilled cheese sandwich with curly fries. And I had some Twisted Root Beer. But I did plan for it today, had only had about 300 calories all day before that. And really haven't had much else tonite so I figure I'm ok for the day.

This past week, I wasn't the greatest with food portion-wise, so this week I'll be tightening up big time since Valentines Day is this next weekend. And that is a tough day for me typically. I hate it, basically. I hate the reminder EVERY where of what I don't have, and I can't escape it. And I have to say, it's now a huge pet peeve of mine when married peeps say they "don't really get into V Day"...yeah, because you HAVE someone. Urrggh...ok vent over. But it's how I feel.

So yeah...I'll get over it. And it will be Feb 15th, then 16th, and so on and so forth, soon enough. Now to get through this week.

Our 3 Day Team

I'm now part of a 3 Day team...our team name is The Boobie Battalion, and we are ready to "Fight Like Girls". Please check out our team page and we would love your support!

We've got some really great fundraisers planned, including a large garage sale coming up in March, so stay tuned for details on that!

What a week...

From D's MRI, to him being sick, to waiting for results, to a really good workout with my trainer, to a few evenings spent with good friends, to putting together an outfit for D for sweetheart pics this weekend with his little girlfriend, to AF being a total PITA, it's been one heck of a week!

That's the basics of it. It's continued to be pretty busy at work from the new software we rolled out, which is fine. It makes the days go by fast.

Aside from Friday evening, we still stuck to eating at home, and did good with that.

And...I officially registered for both Heels and Hills Halfs in May and September! I'm making the commitment now that I will be ready for them. I HAVE to hit the 4 hour mark, and I can't wait to get another half under my belt.

Another 3 Day Announcement

Come join us on Monday Feb 8th at Tin Star on Coit and 190 from 4-9pm. I get 10% of all sales that evening donated to the 3 Day under my name, which will help me in being able to walk in November! This includes, food, alcohol, even take-out, so please come get some yummy quesadillas, tacos, or even a margarita!

And if you can't make it, but still want to donate a couple of dollars, you can still easily make a donation here: http://www.the3day.org/goto/justbrandie

Crazy weekend

But yet I can barely remember most of it. LOL

Friday, we had guests over for dinner. The boys had a fantastic time playing, and a new friend and I got to chat some more. We even ate the meatloaf fail...which wasn't bad with some ketchup. Saturday, we were supposed to go to a birthday party but D fell asleep IN the cart at Target. Yeah there went that idea. We did have dinner with some friends on Saturday evening. And then Sunday, I actually got a Mom's Night Out! My brother came over to sit with a sleeping D, and some DAM chicks and I hit up Olive Garden. To top off the evening, a late night "no kids" trip to Walmart...woohoo!

Monday...was D's MRI. He's been complaining of head pains lately, and has had at least one seizure lately, so aside from upping his seizure meds, the neuro ordered the MRI. It went well. The last time he had one in 2007, he went nuts when the sleepy meds hit him, flopping around all over the place, eyes rolling back in his head. This time, he raised his hand, like he didn't like how the meds felt going in, then reached for me, laid his head on my shoulder, and was knocked OUT. I was shocked at how easy that was! Afterwards, he was so sleepy/drunk for about 2 hours, which is funny as all get out. But this time, too, he was crazy nuts in the evening. Like over the top hyper. Goodness, I was ready to get him to bed!

He had what I think was a bad reaction to the meds, which was not fun, threw up a few times, but by this evening, seemed to be doing fine again.

So that's been our last few days. I can't say eating has been GREAT, but I've passed up some desserts that I could have easily gotten. I brought home half my ziti from Olive Garden. I've made some decent choices. I don't know tho that I will be down in weight a LOT this week as I had hoped. But I still have 2 full more days before Friday's weigh-in to compensate.

3 Day Sponsorships

Important 3 Day Announcement!!

I'm now offering sponsorships in return for a donation to the 3 Day under my name! This will involve the opportunity to have your business/nonprofit logo on one of the 3 shirts I will wear during the 3 Day walk in November. I have small, medium and Prestige options for logos. Please contact me for pricing information. It's first come, first serve, on which day your logo is worn, so let me know soon if you are interested!

Brain freeze this week?

I realized this morning, I haven't posted all week! Sorry, to my two whole readers...lol It's been an INSANE week at work. We rolled out new software, and I have barely come up for air. Plus, I've been so tired in the evenings, I can't even think.

I've been doing ok with eating, and am down 1.8 lbs this week, which is ok, but I do need to tighten it up more. I'm still cooking at home and really enjoying it, but I've been letting portion sizes go a bit. So that will be very much controlled again this next week.

This past week, I made the Swiss Chicken from the E-mealz and it was delicious!! We are having company over this evening, so I wanted to make the E-mealz meatloaf last night ahead of time, but...I forgot to get egg beaters, and D was already in bed. So I searched online for an eggless meatloaf recipe, and found one that looked good. Yeah, not so much. It's basically salsa-flavored HAMBURGER. :( FAIL. I've been assured that they'll still eat my hamburger meatloaf, but uggh I feel awful about it.

Anyway...in other news, I'm gearing up for some fundraisers for the 3 Day. I've got some great ideas, so stay tuned for news about that, including maybe a raffle or two on here.

A lovely weekend!

We rested, we got outside, we had fun...it was a great weekend!

On Friday, I weighed in for the DFW Area Mom's Biggest Loser competition, and am down 4.2 lbs this week. Go me!

Friday night I hosted an MNI (Mom's Night In) at my house, and a wonderful group of ladies came. We had so much fun...we played a game and talked and laughed all night long. It was awesome!

Saturday, we didn't leave the house even once. It felt weird, since I am so used to us being on the go, but I enjoyed it anyway, and got my workout in. D was in an EXCEPTIONAL mood, and we just had THE best day at home. He was sweet, and funny, and goofy (but not over wild goofy), and gah...I *heart* my kid.

Until he woke up today in an arguing mood. lol Yay! Ok I still *heart* him, but I also considered pitching him out a window a few times. Maybe just a first floor one?

Anyway, we still had a lovely day, I was just definitely ready for him to be in the bed tonite. We hit up Campion Trails for a 3.5 mile walk, and then joined some friends for lunch and a movie. We saw The Tooth Fairy, which was quite cheesy, but cute. And who doesn't wanna see The Rock with no shirt on??? *drool*. D was in the bed right on time tonite since he did not get a nap, and I did half of my workout. After the workout on Saturday and the walk this morning, I was feeling weak so only did one set. But that's ok, tomorrow is a rest day for my muscles, and then Tuesday night, my trainer comes back!

The choices we make...

I had the option and the opportunity to grab fast food this evening. Well, I guess I always have the option...but anyway, yeah, I had a chance to. And a very valid one to most people. I think a lot of people would have been like yeah that's understandable. But I pushed past it.

We took dinner out to a friend who recently had surgery, and stayed longer than I intended. That led to us getting home around 7:45. I very easily could have grabbed fast food instead of worrying about cooking or eating at home. But I wanted, really wanted, to rise above that. So we came home, and had cereal for dinner. lol Hey, its not fast food! I ended up having some toast with I Can't Believe Its Not Butter and some parmesan cheese, later this evening, as I was low on cals. I just kept thinking, that I have foods in my house that I do want sometimes in the evening, like the cereal and the parmesan toast, but I can never have them since I'm usually at my cal limit already. So I was able to HAVE those tonite since I didn't eat other crap. It worked!

This was also great for me considering it was a stressful day. D had another seizure today at school, and those days are hard. It took every bit of control I had in me, to not leave work right then and go get him. But I knew he was ok and that there was nothing I could do. I just couldn't comfort myself with knowing he was with me, nor could I comfort him, which does leave you feeling pretty helpless!

Kick butt and take names?

Not yet...LOL but I think I've found just the right trainer to help make it happen!

My trainer came by tonite and we ended up doubling all my sets, plus adding in reverse crunches, and last week, had already upped my weights. It was a great workout! She's not a Jillian Michaels so doesn't holla at you or anything. But she definitely inspires me to keep going, and doesn't let me slack with it along the way! And she even does the workout with me! How's that for inspiring?

Check out her website if you need some help accomplishing some fitness goals, getting into fitness for the first time, or just need some help gettin a great looking butt!

http://www.wellnessformama.com

I did good for dinner tonite. I've been CRAVING Red, Hot and Blue's pulled pork nachos, so...I made my own healthier version! I used baked tostitos scoops, pulled pork that I'd let sit in the crockpot overnight, some Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce, reduced fat shredded cheese, and fat free sourcream. Oh and PLENTY of salsa!! MMMMMMMMMMM It wasn't near the size of the portion that Red, Hot and Blue gives, but it was just perfect! (Though, it does help that I knew Janie was comin over, and didn't want to be puking during the workout, so that REALLY helps keep portion sizes down!!)

Manic Monday

So...today is a holiday. Martin Luther King Day to be exact. I knew it was a school holiday but was sure that D's afterschool care would be open, and hadn't heard otherwise. Yeah, not so much. We showed up to a dark, locked down church. And D got to join mommy at work. He LOVED that, except for one point he said "mommy, this is just boring" lol that's life, kiddo.

He made it til about 11am, which was fine. I was able to at least get SOME work done. We headed out from there to enjoy the rest of our day. And of course, we enjoyed the nice weather! Well, my allergies didn't enjoy it much, but the rest of me did.

I did great on food today, despite the abrupt schedule change. We had sandwiches and apple slices at Beth's house for lunch, while hanging out with them. And then cooked one of my E-mealz over there...beef and broccoli...YUM!! I had been wanting to try it, but was abit overwhelmed at the amount of meat. It CALLS for 1/2 a lb. But its sold in a little over a lb packages. Don't laugh, I really do get overwhelmed very easily in this. So we made it a fun dinner with all of us, and now that I've DONE the meal, I feel more comfortable with splitting that meat up, or just cooking all of it at once. Progress is good!

Starting over weekend

Well, it felt like it anyway. We hit the trail for a bit this morning (the first trail walk of the new year), and only did 2 miles, but to me, it felt like I had basically started completely over in walking. I felt every one of those footsteps, and every pound that I have gained. I hate that feeling! But I'm using it as more encouragement to get back into the 3-4 mile walks every other day or so...esp as it starts staying light longer, and the weather changes some.

We had a busy, active weekend tho, which felt great. On Saturday, D had a dentist appt, which he did pretty good at. After that we walked around the mall a bit, met some friends for lunch (my eat out day!!! We did Aparicios which is some delicious mexican food!), and then spent 3 hours at IKEA. Yeah, 3 hours. And then we hit up a house party for a bit to top off the night! We ate there, so only ate out once on Sat.

Today was just as busy. We had the 2 mile walk in the morning, then lunch at my grandma's. After lunch, we hit up the zoo for a couple of hours! We did eat out again for dinner (Jasons Deli tho, and both of us can eat there for 10 bucks or less). And then this evening, we joined my best friend and her little boy for a grown-up (although PG) movie. We didn't get home til late, but it sure was fun!

Whose idea was this???

So, my trainer came by on Tuesday night, and we discussed upping my light weights from 3 lbs to 5 lbs. Well, I worked out Thursday night with the 3 lb weights, and really, yeah, they are too light now. So I decided to do my workout again tonite. Mainly because I doubt I'll do it tomorrow (Saturday) and I don't want to miss two days in a row. And I decided to use the 5 lbs weight. Yeah...I struggled. It's amazing what just 2 extra lbs in each hand will do! For the most part, it wasn't awful, but in the shoulder raises, I barely made all my reps!!! It doesn't help that I do those reps while standing on one leg. lol I have a feeling, I'm going to be a bit sore. BUT, it's done. YAY.

Dinner tonite would have been SO easy to pick up something again, but I thought ahead this morning. I pulled the container of baked ziti that I set aside last week from the freezer and let it defrost all day. So...we had a yummy, easy dinner of baked ziti, salad, and garlic bread (bread with "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray, garlic salt, and a bit of reduced fat parmesan cheese).

Tomorrow is eat out day, woohoo!!! I made it another full week of no eating out!!

E-mealz Fantastic Enchiladas

Ok, I'm no Pioneer Woman, so these pics are not great at all. But I really wanted to document these and the recipe. Tonite's dinner was another E-mealz.com wonder. Fantastic Enchiladas. First of all, they smelled DIVINE. OMG my whole house just made me drool. These are creamy, with a bit of spice to them, and both D and I devoured them. I purposely made exactly enough for us because I had a feeling they would be dangerous. D cleaned his plate too! The meal plan actually called for a side of tortilla chips, but I decided I wanted a 3rd enchilada instead, so no chips for us! This was plenty!

Ingredients:

Inside Mixture:
1/2lb cooked/drained extra lean ground beef
1/2 cup thawed frozen spinach
1/2 cup salsa
4oz (half a package) of fat free cream cheese, cubed
dash of cumin
dash of salt

Other:
6 Fat free Tortillas
1 cup salsa
1 cup shredded 2% cheddar cheese

Mix ground beef, spinach, 1/2 cup of salsa, cumin, salt, and cream cheese in a saucepan until heated through. It should look like this:

Spoon 1/3rd cup of mixture into each flour tortilla, roll up tightly and put in lightly greased pan. I made 6 but had enough for 7. Pour a cup of salsa over top and spread all over.

See our plates? Cute, huh?

Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes to heat through, then spread shredded cheese on top and put back in oven to let cheese melt. Enjoy!!!

More lessons learned and a bittersweet moment...

We decided to skip Awanas for D tonite so that I could go grocery shopping and continue to make sure I'm doing ok on food without eating out. Next week, I think I'll be more prepared with food that D and I can eat on the way to church, but this week, I needed the freedom to not have to be anywhere. I just don't want to chance relying on fast food right now!

I did good again at the store. Stuck to my E-mealz list, plus food for lunches and breakfast. Right now, for breakfasts, I'm doing oatmeal and fruit. And then a frozen meal with some kind of addition to it (more fruit, nuts, something like that) for lunch, and then a yogurt for an afternoon snack. Then whatever I cook for dinner. Tonite I chose the Hawaiian Bacon Pizza to make. But...I don't do bbq sauce or pineapples on my pizza, so...I made bacon/spinach/cheddar pizza and added a salad on the side...lol It was YUM but I ate too much...:( Totally killed it on portion size. I'm still "ok" on calories but I was disappointed in myself. I should have wrapped the rest of the pizza up IMMEDIATELY and stowed it away...oh well, another lesson learned.

Funny story though. On the way home from the store, D asked what we were having for dinner, and I told him I was going to make pizza. He goes "how bout we order it?". And I told him, no...we're going to eat at home and Mommy is going to make it. He asked me why, and I said "so we can make our bodies stronger and healthier, with better food. You want to be STRONG, right?" He goes "yeah! I'ma lift sumthing!!" lol Silly boy. But it's also bittersweet to me.

I've made sure the last 3 years that D be very much exposed to veggies, as I didn't want him growing up like I did, and he has no problem downing bowls of steamed broccoli/carrots/asparagus, whatever. But the fact that he immediately assumes we need to order or eat out, hurts me. So I'm glad I'm doing this, he's one of my biggest motivations.

A new week of Emealz

I was excited today to get this next week's Emealz. And it turns out, the recipes look pretty good! One or two, I'm not real sure about, but I'm definitely willing to give em a shot. I can't wait to go grocery shopping this evening and get all the items together, then figure out what I can go ahead and cook ahead of time. That REALLY saved me last week, getting several meals mostly done at once. We enjoyed the baked ziti I'd already cooked tonite for dinner with a salad.

I'm happy to say that I've lost 8 lbs (8 LBS!!!!) since last Tuesday, and have only eaten out once in that timespan. Go me! I'm planning on the same thing this week, eating in all week, and enjoying a meal out on Saturday. I think this could really work! I'm excited to see how the weight keeps going with this.

My trainer came over this evening and I got in a great workout with her. I hadn't seen her since before the holidays so it was a much needed visit. We're getting back into regular weekly sessions so that should start showing in the weight loss as well.

Glad to have a meal plan

I'm keeping this short and simple since I'm about to go to bed, but I'm SO glad I already had most of a meal ready for tonite. Some late afternoon stressing about D could have made my eating go downhill, but just knowing that I had that there, kept me from saying screw it all and grabbing fast food. I feel like this past week, I've been presented with all the different situations that might make me bomb in eating, and so far I'm pulling through it. That gives me confidence to keep going in this. And I like that.

Another tough situation conquered

In the past with the diet, I dreaded weekends. With us being so much on the go, its hard to not cave to it and grab fast food. Plus, on Sundays at my grandma's, you never know what she's going to make, BUT its reasonable to assume there will be butter involved. It's all good home cooking.

So, I've been good all week, was good yesterday on Saturday, and here comes today. But...I made a plan. I can't control what my grandma makes, but I most assuredly could control what I eat there. And while it was still semi-higher in cals, I did good on portions, and even turned down dessert.

We had a scheduled playdate after that, which could have been a toss up on eating. But it was at least at the other person's house, not at like a McD's or CFA. And I already had that baked ziti I'd made this past week, defrosting in the fridge. Planning ahead is a wonderful thing, isn't it? So our playdate was at 2, I grabbed a Sonic unsweet Iced Tea beforehand to tied me over (D had a small snack there). We left a bit after 5 and were home by 6 to eat dinner and get D in the bed. It worked out great! And while at times my thoughts did turn to grabbing fast food on the way home, knowing I already HAD food ready to go there, was a huge help.

So yay...weekend 1 of the New Year...conquered. Done deal.

Eat out day...and go Cowboys!

The Cowboys just won against the Eagles (AGAIN, YEAH!), and I am ecstatic. But this evening was much more than that. I decided we were going to go out to eat this evening, since we did great all week. Well, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat with some friends. I prepared for it. I ate a light lunch, and planned out my calories well ahead of time for what I wanted to get, and stuck to it. BUT I was also faced with a tough decision. As the Cowboy game started at BWW, my friends had to head out to go to a Moms Night Out painting thing. I had two choices. 1) Stay at BWW with just D, watching the game...or 2) Go home and watch it. The problem with Number 1. If we had stayed there, just the two of us, the odds of me ordering more food, went WAY UP. I did so good with ordering what I had planned on. I got the Grilled Chicken Buffalitos (basically, grilled chicken tacos, no sauce, just ranch on the side which I didn't use much of it, I mainly dipped it in the salsa), and they were fantastic.

So...we made the best decision, I believe. We left BWW when Casey and Shana did, grabbed a "bessert" as D calls it, from Braums, and headed home. I had room in my cals for a little treat, just not what I would have eaten if we had stayed at the restaurant...lol That was definitely the right thing to do for tonite. And the Cowboys pulled off the win!

Pieces of a puzzle

So I'm starting to figure out how some of these food puzzle pieces fit together. I've made some realizations the last few days of some things, and I'm liking it. This evening (after letting the pork loin cook all night in the crockpot, and then tossing it in the fridge this morning), I took half of it, shredded it and mixed in some Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce, added some scalloped potatoes and a salad with fat free ranch, and ooooooooooooh boy was it DELISH! I had two servings of bbq pork. Holy cow, it was so tender! That will definitely be in our regular rotation now. The other half of the pork is going to be bbq sandwiches at some point either over the weekend or early next week. And that's what I love about this! The key thing, is that these recipes are keeping it manageable for me, so I don't get overwhelmed and go straight back to the crap food.

Tonite marks 5 straight days of eating dinner at home. I'm so proud of myself!! Monday for lunch was a breakfast burrito and a banana at Sonic, but other than that, I've not eaten out even ONCE this week!!! Go me! So, this weekend, I'm planning to go somewhere out to eat with D, maybe during the Cowboy game to go watch it, I dunno. But this might work, to eat out once on weekends, and be good during the week. I like it! And can't wait to get the new Emealz menu on Tuesday to see what is coming up next!

In other news...AF is wrecking havoc right now, which I am NOT happy about as its curtailing a lot of the working out I want to do to go with the better eating. But hopefully, it will ease up by Sunday, and D and I can get in a good walk. And if this chest cold/allergies/drainage would clear up, I'd be SET. I am SO freaking tired of coughing, and esp with AF! Bad timing, very bad timing. BUT, if AF and a nasty cough/cold are all that I have wrong with me, I'm doing pretty darn good.

Oh goodness...

So...grocery shopping with a good list yesterday. Today...I modified one of the recipes into something even healthier but SO much more delicious. And then this evening...I put a freakin pork loin into the crockpot. The world might just be ending. lol

First, our meal tonite...was going to be "Easy Beans and Rice". It consisted of a mixture of ground beef, black beans, and Rotel, served over rice, with fat free sour cream on top, and then a side of Baked Tostitos Scoops. But the rice just didn't sound appealing to me. So I threw the tostitos on a plate, and topped it with some of the beef/beans, then added abit of 2% milk mozzarella cheese, and added the fat free sour cream on top. Instant nachos! A side of sliced oranges completed the meal, and both D and I thought it was a huge success! Score one for mommy! (Can you tell I was proud of myself?? lol) And saved probably around 100 calories by eliminating the rice. Woo!

TWO of the Emealz for this week include shredded pork. So tonite, I busted out the crockpot that NEVER gets used, and tossed a pork loin in it.

Now all this sounds very simple, but to me, this is HUGE for me. The majority of our meals consisted of processed foods, boxed meals, drive through, eating out, etc, and so this is a novelity to me, to really be putting together foods. And while a lot of this is probably nothing to most people, it's big to me. I'm not saying I'm going to completely cut out the rest as I love to eat out and be social, but at least I'm enjoying this cooking stuff. So...progress is good. And yummy too. *grin*

Proud of me!

Today I decided to sign up for E-mealz.com. It's $5 a month and it basically sends you a dinner menu plan for 5 days every week, complete with grocery list! I figured it was only $5, that'd be worth it to test it out. I ended up choosing the Lowfat Walmart option for 2 people. So I got my menu plan for this week and really liked it! I went shopping tonite and got everything, plus the staples it asks for, and then stuff for my lunches, D's lunches, and snacks.

We got home a bit late, and sadly enough, even with all those groceries in the car, I still considered grabbing a quick dinner on the way home...lol But I held off that impulse. Our first meal tonite was "Cheaters Chicken and Dumplings". It certainly wasn't my grandma's dumplings, but it was passable and we both filled our tummies.

The part I'm proud of the most, is that I went ahead tonite and made two MORE of the meals, and got them ready to go in the fridge, withOUT eating them! lol One is baked ziti which is a weakness of mine with all that cheese. And then the other used part of the meat from the ziti in a beans and rice dish. They are currently all cooling on my counter. One thing I like about this, is that since they are geared towards two people, its not huge amounts of food, so I have less risk of overeating. That's HUGE.

Needless to say, no workout tonite, as I've been moving around all evening and just now sat down (plus a load of laundry, load of dishes and cleaned my kitchen up after all that cooking!). AF started today so the rest of the week/weekend will be interesting but we'll see how it goes. At least I have a few meals made to tide us over, and the food for several MORE meals!!! Woohoo!

Day two down...wavered bigtime but came back strong...

I did really good today despite leaving my tunafish for my lunch at home. Disappointing, sure, but I worked it out, and made up for the protein lack in both my snack and dinner.

My biggest wavering though, came at the grocery store this evening. Originally, dinner was going to be made FOR us in return for some computer work. But that got canceled, and I had no meat thawed or anything, so we went to the store to get salad stuff, and ground turkey. Well I always get the 93/7 tube of turkey, and they HAD NONE...and the 83/15 turkey was a dollar more. I was like crap...went to look at ground beef...the 93/7 of that is TWICE as much as the turkey...so...we went wandering around the store. I kept thinking, well maybe I could make something else, went down the canned chili aisle, the pasta aisle...skirted REALLY close to getting so frustrated that I almost said screw it and went with standard crap food. I was already off track since original dinner plans were sunk. But finally I made myself go back to the meat section...and get the 85/15 turkey (I prefer ground turkey now which is why I wanted to stick with that) Yeah...it was a few more cals...but I stuck to my menu plan...we had chili and salad for dinner...so proud of myself!!!!

I didn't get in a work out tonite but I did do my devotional. (And the next TWO nights will be workout nights so I'm good).

Overall today, I felt stronger with my choices. I have very few choices to make with this plan, so the ones I CAN make, make me feel empowered. And I like that.

Day one down, some lessons learned

Well, today was the first day of my official DOWN year. I weighed in this morning and it was not a pretty picture at ALL. I don't even know if I want to post it on here yet...lol I did tell my trainer though.

I did decent on eating, but learned that I am definitely a people pleaser. I didn't stand up for myself assertively in a situation today and it led to me struggling quite a bit this evening. I am so thankful that I made those meal plans, as I was able to stick to it for dinner, and not cave in to my cravings due to me not wanting to decide on dinner. I've learned that too many choices, is no bueno for me. I need NO choices or as few as possible. So I do think that the plan I made for eating is going to work very well. I'm also working on having a few "contingency plans" in a note on my phone. Basically, a few fast food places, the one or two things that are healthier there, and calorie counts for them, plus calorie counts for the "bad" things I want at those, to keep me from wanting those. lol Since we are out and about so much, or on road trips, etc, I want to make sure I'm prepared for the event that we'd need to stop somewhere.

I got in 20 minutes of cardio earlier, as well as 20 minutes of my devotional book, plus I'm still working on decluttering my house. Two big bags of stuff got taken to the Collin Cty Children's Advocacy Center's drop off today, and I have lots more to go!

All in all, it was good day. I really felt strong most of the day itself in what I am doing, and though this evening has been tough craving-wise, I've been coping with it well. On to day two!

Our New Years Weekend

So we hit up Oklahoma City from New Years Eve til today to see my dad, his wife Liz, and family up there. We had a great time, and stayed busy, so I'll just summarize our long weekend.

New Years Eve: played in the snow (the drifts left from CHRISTMAS and the 14 inches they got), got reacquainted with Molly (the dog). We then hit up the OKC Thunder vs Utah Jazz game. Right before the game, someone my dad knows invited us into their suite. Well, part way through the game, the mascot Rumble came into our suite! He did scare the bejeebies out of us by slamming the door, but D was in HEAVEN that he got to meet him!!! It was totally the highlight of the trip for him. After that, we hit up downtown to see the ball go up and the fireworks at midnight. Happy New Year, y'all!!!

New Years Day: D and I slept REALLY late...lol it was nice. After that, my half brother/his wife, and half sister joined us for a New Years Day lunch complete with blackeyed peas. There was quite a bit more snow play after that, plus a visit by my grandma's house up there. And once it got darker, we went to go see Christmas lights, specifically a street that has 15 houses set to lights, so amazing! Then back to the house to put D to bed, and the adults played some Farkle!

Jan 2nd: Off to drive by the Train museum (which was closed so we just drove through it), and then to the Firefighters Museum. It was neat to see the old fire engines. D ate his weight in pizza after that...lol and then later, he helped Liz make a cake for my dad, and then we watched my dad play some soccer! And finally, we hit up that chocolate cake (since we left early today), so D could sing to him, and after D was in bed, more Farkle! (I won that game...lol woohoo!)

Jan 3rd: Home, home, again. D and I slept most of the way home while my bro drove. It was uneventful. After that, we had some Chera pics in Deep Ellum, and topped it off with hanging out with Beth and her family for dinner.

This evening I'm getting my mind all set for tomorrow New Year DOWN kickoff. I didn't really have time or $$$ to go big grocery shopping like I had planned on, but I grabbed a few items that will keep me on track for a couple days, so I'm ready to go. My fridge/pantry was already cleaned out mostly, so it too is ready to go. Time to get this new year started off right!

Welcome to 2010

So here we are. 2009 is done for, and 2010 has just begun. As I posted in my last one, 2009 was so full of ups and downs. Well, I have one goal for 2010. That is, for it to be all downs. Down in weight, down in eating, down in spending, down the trails, with blessings coming DOWN from Heaven, and down on my knees in prayer. Down is the key word this year.

With that in mind, I am writing DOWN some plans for all this.

1) Down with weight/eating: I have been working on set meal plans. 12 set meals that I rotate every 2 weeks, leaving one day a week for eating out. Once a month, I will remove a recipe if we are really tired of one, and add in a new one to the rotation. 2 of the meals are ones that can be frozen, taken out, nuked and eaten in the car (fully portable) to help us not rely on fast foods for Wednesday church. The meals aren't necessarily super healthy BUT I will be modifying them with healthier things as I go. The key for me was to get the meals down on paper (well, spreadsheet) with the key ingredients to more easily make shopping lists. This will also help with spending as we won't be eating out near as much.

2) Down the trails: As the days get longer again, we will be starting up our evening walks, as well as starting back the early Saturday morning long walks. I miss those dearly, and really enjoyed having that time for reflection, prayer, communion with nature, and it just felt good. I also have planned several half marathons, and one 10K, plus various 5Ks thrown in, as I can afford it. I definitely am planning on both of the H&H Halfs, one in May and one in September, plus I would like to do the Rock N Roll Half if I can afford it before it sells out (assuming it will, it might not though). And in part with this: down on the floor. I will be continuing with my personal training with Janie, and working to enhance my body as the weight comes off.

3) Down in prayer: one thing I have also slacked on lately has been my devotionals, my Bible reading, aspects of my spiritual life that I feel are vital to my wellbeing. I have two devotionals already that I kept "intending" to do, and will be starting the first one "Lord, is it warfare? Teach me to stand." on January 4th. I'm going to treat it like spiritual exercise, alternating nights with my workout.

SO there you have it. All my plans for this new year. I will be starting this on January 4th, which is a Monday. The majority of Jan 3rd will be spent cleaning out my fridge and pantry, along with a grocery shopping trip to stock up on the good foods.

I can't wait to get going on this! I have a feeling that this year is going to have quite a few surprises, but I'm praying they are all good ones, as I continue along this journey.