Struggling mightily...

I guess I should finally post this. I've been struggling since November mentally. I've been doing good with calories and exercise, don't get me wrong. But with all the ups and downs, especially with vacation, I've lost an official total of 3 lbs since the first of November. I realized that this past Saturday, and I've been way down about it ever since. Its basically a 2.5 month plateau, and its driving me nuts. There are times that I really feel like my body does NOT want to go below 250 lbs because it seems like whenever it gets close, it inches back up a tad, despite what I'm eating and doing.

I've varied calories, I upped my calories even, which helped with 2 of those lbs, I've been doing cardio every single day, since November (minus the few days on the roadtrip), I've added in some different kinds. I just don't understand it. And so its got me really depressed lately, and I know that my motivation is hanging by a very slim thread right now. I'm staying on calories and exercising only because it's become habit now. I'm just afraid of mentally saying screw this, and falling off completely. I keep repeating to myself a quote I heard on the radio awhile back, "Theres no sin in getting weary, the sin is in giving up." I'm holding on to that for all I'm worth until this weight decides to move again.

I'm still trying a few things. This week I started the Biggest Loser Cardio Max workout, to maybe get my metabolism boosted, and while last night and this morning I couldn't even MOVE I was so sore, I will be doing it again in the morning. At someone else's suggestion, I might start doing Theme Weeks (a way lowfat week, a lowcarb week, etc) and see if that can get things moving as well. I don't wanna give up. I can't. Not after coming this far. But I sure could use some prayers, I feel like I'm in the middle of a test period, to see how far I'm willing to take this. And frankly, it sucks.

If you got this far, thanks for listening to me whine.

Input:
B: Quaker oatmeal packet, bottle of Crystal Light
S: Fat free yogurt
L: Lean Cuisine Pepperoni Pizza and romaine/tomato salad with Zesty Italian Light dressing
S: banana and 100 cal choc covered pretzels (totally ignoring the birthday cake outside our department)
D: 2 Light hotdogs on whole wheat, with a bit of ketchup, and half an apple
S: two No Sugar Added minifudgsicles
Cals: 1351 calories

Output: 45 minute walk around the grocery store at lunch(stretching my legs out with a light walk since I am CRAZY sore from yesterdays workout), another hour at the grocery store this evening pushing a cart...