12 miles forward, 6 lbs back...

I realized on Sunday that it had been a week and a half (I think) since I'd logged calories on the other blog. And my eating, I knew, had been awful. Stress over D's school, after-school issues, finances, thinkin about the half marathon coming up, all led me into a pitfall. So I weighed in on Monday morning, and discovered I had gained 6 lbs...acck! I knew it was coming and much as I would like to say that a lot of it was muscle weight from the 12 miles or that AF is coming, I know its from eating.

I know quite a bit of it has been due to school starting in more than one way. It seems like everyone is more busy so we've been more isolated. It's hard when finances are tight and there just aren't a lot of people we know available in the evenings to eat or hang out with. Isolation is a big eating trigger for me, and that coupled with stress throws me into a tailspin. And that is exactly what happened. I attempted to clamp back down, and did fine on Monday. Yesterday, was a beating in the evening, and I finally caved and had some ramen noodles. Today has been ok so far, but I had more than I intended at dinner, especially since D is teething, so has a sore mouth and refused to eat anything not very soft. So I finished his. :(

It's such a bad time for this with the half coming up in 11 days. I need to be at the top of my game and I feel all bloated and like crap. Tomorrow is a new day though. Ideally, I won't have any more awful eating these next 11 days, as I intend to splurge for lunch after completing the race, but right now, I'm struggling pretty bad and I just don't know. I have lost a lot of the internal motivation I had, and am trying my darnedest to get it back.

I saw a quote today that said "Consistency breeds success". And what I'm taking from that is, to keep restarting this every single day. I will not call this quits, despite my struggle. And if I keep taking it day by day, I will eventually succeed.

All that said, I do have to add, I can not believe I'm still very much into doing this half marathon. I can't believe I've been this committed to it for this long. Now we are down to only a week and a half left, and adding only a mile to the mileage I've already done, and it's a reality. I'm proud of myself for sticking with it this long, despite the bumps in the road, like AF. And the feeling of knowing that I will soon cross that finish line just overwhelms me.