Inspiring

My friend said something to me the other day that really struck a chord with me. She said "i dont think u realize that people see u as an inspiration...and not judging u. People are not judging u, u just think they are". It came about because at the time, I was really trying to talk myself out of doing the 15K yesterday. I knew what a challenge it would be for me (mentally and emotionally). And in my mind, I was coming up with quite a few excuses to do my own walk on Saturday and just do the 5K on Sunday. You see, the 5K was safe. I had done that before. The 5K didn't involve passing by the finish line a couple times, it didn't involve people seeing me pass by the finish line, the 5K didn't involve the mental block that hit right around mile 8 (which I had already experienced the weekend before as well). It would have been the easy way out. And in my head, everyone sees all that is going on. In my head, people see the crap I think about, the rationalizations I make.

It really made me sit up and realize that they don't. And that I do inspire people, even while I judge myself. I judge myself for not being as fast or as good as the others out there. But others, have no idea of that. And they see what I've accomplished, so much more than I ever could really see. I need to keep that in mind for anything I do. I want to inspire people and show them that it really doesn't matter where you come from, that its where you are going that counts. That you could start from a 330 lb chick who got winded walking to the mailbox and get to where you complete a half marathon. That its possible if you just start taking the STEPS (hehehe, literally, in this case) to do it. THATS what I want people to see. And I think they do...most days.