My child needs some prayer

Before he gets excommunicated...OY, this child is driving me nuts! Two days ago, I started switching my discipline methods to more Love and Logic techniques. And let me just say, that D is fighting it with every fiber of his being. He is testing me on so many levels its not even funny, every little part of our typical routine is turning into a test. I'm just exhausted from it, and its only day 2. On a good note, he IS responding to the choices I've been giving him.

I spent a lot of last night crying over this. A) Its just trying and emotional to have your child testing their limits constantly, even little routine things, which we always do. I know this is shortlived, (please God tell me this is short-lived!!) But also B) I'm feeling like the worst parent ever. Mainly because I think that I should have started this from the very beginning, and even though he does have neurological issues that cause a lot of the problems he has, and makes all this worse, because he's very very clever, and it seems to me that he DOES test more than other kids do, I feel that a lot of what I've been attributing as a neuro issue, is a failing on my part. I really feel like a failure with him for even HAVING to make this transition. Better late than never, right? I keep consoling myself with the fact that I've always been fairly firm and consistent with him (with a touch of what my friend's call "black momma"), but this is a whole new ballgame. And right now, I'm just praying for daylight.

In the trash

Yup, thats right. My bag of hidden candy is so going in the trash tonite. If you read our Losin blog, you'll see I've had a tough time lately with candy. And last night was REALLY a problem. I had a little Almond Joy and a blowpop, but I had the hardest time stopping there. I should have just done this last night but I didn't feel strong enough to do it. But tonite...its going. I will post here to let you know I actually did it, and keep myself accountable. I think I'll feel much better once its gone!

Poor D

He was so traumatized today. We went to get his stitches taken out, and he fought it so bad, they had to wrap him up in a sheet like a burrito. He SCREAMED bloody murder for a whole 5 minutes. Poor guy! Poor mommy, my ear drums are still ringing...lol In return for his trauma, he gota big frosted cookie this afternoon though, AND a yummy lunch at Mi Cocina. You think that made up for it??? *grin*

In other news, I'm still doing the 90 day challenge. Not sure what day I'm on though...lol Tomorrow we're going to the fair, does that walking count at all or do I still need to do 30 minutes?? What do you think?

When kids make you cry...

Getting off the weightloss subject for a bit...

Yesterday after I picked up D from school, we were talking in the car about his day. Out of the blue he goes "why did you leave me?" Now, for those of you who don't know D, he's delayed, so there are a lot of things he doesn't understand and a lot of things that he just has no concept of right now. So I don't think he meant it the way it sounds. But it sure made Mommy sad! I told him I will never leave him, that he will always be my sweet boy. And he said "you left at school?". And I said "yes I did leave you at school this morning, but did I come back for you?" And he said "YEAH!". I told him "Thats right, D, mommy always comes back for you. It might not be when you want me to, and there might be days where someone else picks you up from school, but I always will come back for you. I CHOSE you as my little boy, and that makes you very very special to me." Ohhhhhh mommy was about to bawl, good thing he was in the backseat and couldn't see my face!!!

He just smiled and said "I hungry!"

Yeah...that's my boy...

An awesome shopping experience!!

I got some money (and coupons) to buy new clothes, so Beth and I hit up the Avenue this evening.

Let me start by saying, that when this diet started, I was in 30/32 clothes (which sometimes were too tight as well), and 10 or 11 WW shoes. Thats right, DOUBLE wide shoes. A lot of times only men's shoes fit, which could really suck!

Tonite, I am happy to report...that while I'm still in a 24 in pants (which is still a great reduction!), the size of all the tops I bought...was an 18/20!!! And they all fit! The only tops in 18/20 that were tight were their button down ones, and those ran tighter on me anyway. I am so stinkin excited!!!

And in shoes...I tried on several pairs of 10Ws and they all fit! The ones I ended up buying were an astonishing 9.5W!!! I never would have guessed that my FEET would shrink!

I'm so full of good news on this front, I can barely stand myself! I know Beth had to be cracking up at my perma-grin going on...lol

Liver update

Got my bloodwork back. So far, its all good news. My bilirubin was just slightly elevated, which means I have a disorder called Gilbert's Syndrome. Its a harmless genetic disorder, which basically means elevated bilirubin. It elevates even more if you fast. So no problems there, and she said my liver was just slightly enlarged so as long as I keep up the diet and exercise, that will not be an issue. YAY! I'm glad its not anything more complex or severe. WHEW

I need ideas!

D and I have Chera pics coming up in November. I have a dilemma. In our first session from a year ago, there is ONLY one pic of me, and its my face only. In our pics this last April, there are a few of me with him, but mainly my face and maybe 2 of my upper body only.

This time, I will be just about to hit 6 months of weight loss, and I'm hoping to be around 250 lbs (that will be 80 lbs DOWN!). I'd like more of me in the pics, but I need some ideas for coordinating outfits for D and I!!!! Help!! Please leave comments if you have some thoughts on this!

I would prefer to be in jeans. I can put D in jeans...but tops? Maybe Converse shoes for both of us? Bare feet? Urggghhh...what to do...