Half of me...is gone...

And I'm not talkin about weight loss. I've felt for years like I'm not whole. I have God in my life, and I know I wouldn't be truly alive without Him, and I have this crazy funny kid whom I adore, I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy and my kid's tummy, and a steady job, but I don't feel complete. Truth be told, I've been depressed over this for a long time now...I don't understand why it seems like God is holding out on me. I know its not my realm of understanding. Maybe I'M not ready, maybe the man God has for me, isn't ready. I just wonder WHEN, God, WHEN? Nights are so lonely I can barely stand it somedays, and I don't want to turn to someone for comfort, when its not in Your plan, God. I got hit really hard with it on Saturday evening, and its been a struggle ever since. I don't want to go my own way outside of Your Will. I want to stay fully in the will of God, but, urgh its tough. I could use some prayer. I pray that if God does want me to remain single, that He'll give me peace about it. But I'm NOT at peace about it. I just wish I could see ahead of the present, to see what is instore for me, maybe then I could understand the wait.